Attending Mass

Early evening

I left my place for a walk

Over there, I noticed someone waving hands

It was a woman who lives nearby & whom I often bump into

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"Are you going to church?"

I asked

She smiled somewhat embarrassingly;

"Yes......."

and added;

".......you can come with me"

I followed her

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I attended Mass for the first time in my life

In fact
this was my first time attending any kind of church event

During the 30 min of Mass,
what caught my interest was

obviously

the people there

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"Mass" had always sounded special to me

Hence, I thought those who attend Mass must be special too.......

.........was my subconscious notion before I’d attended

(*Just give a context & an excuse for my idealisation. I'm from a country where less than 1% of the population is Christian. And more importantly, religion of any kind is almost absent from everyday life there)

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Inside the church
certainly, more of the older generations

But also
— young couples,
— a man in a business suit,
— a young man in an American metal band T-shirt
— a woman in a chic navy dress with a tiny bright-red pouch

..........basically, the same-looking people I see in the city

Probably that’s why
I started to think the difference between "us" & "them"

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If we have 30 min, then
we waste it on stupid cat videos on our phones

But they

They come here all the way, and
sit quietly, and
sacrifice 30 min of their limited life in this world to something beyond themselves —

perhaps everyday (at least the woman who took me there does)

It was not easy for me
not to find something respectful, even holy, in them

Or,
it was not easy for me
not to put myself down, because

I had to feel
the surroundings I exist in are filled with absurd garbage

I had to feel
the day-to-day life I exist in is packed with absurd garbage

99% of things in my life, or in our lives, are like;

"They can exist, but they don't need to"

Lack of absoluteness
Lack of definiteness
Lack of destiny

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In my life,
I’ve met several religious people

And every time,
I feel some kind of beauty in them

"A person, who believes, is beautiful"

Because doubting is easy

We've always been taught to doubt others, the world, and ourselves

Yet
doubting is easier
skepticism is easier
indecision is easier

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If "Believe" feels too strong, then
I can rephrase it as "Like"

"A person, who likes something for an extended period of time, is beautiful"

We can’t help but feel something dazzling around such a person, because

The nature of all emotions is changeable, transience & ephemeral

And among them, "Like" is one of — if not the most — fleeting emotions

But this person keeps it,
stabilises it,
embeds it into their life

“Willpower”
is what we see in them

“Purity”
is what we see in them

“Beauty”
is what we see in them