AllMy FavouritesMeSense of BeautyWomanMishimaWritingRelationshipAttractionHistoryTravelJapanPolandUkraineSerbiaOther日本語About Him

Impression on Estonia―Beekeeping

7/July/2024

Beekeeping in front of the president's office

エストニアの印象―養蜂

7/July/2024

大統領官邸前の蜂

Impression on Estonia―Eastern Europe

7/July/2024

my life has been dragged by images around this word, Eastern Europe

エストニアの印象―東欧と北欧

7/July/2024

「北欧」というイメージと、その違和感

Elena

6/July/2024

'Like' is what brings meanings to our life

We like everything in the world

3/July/2024

We like everything in the end

人間はこの世界を好きになるようにできている

3/July/2024

人間はこの世界のすべてが好きなんだ

I am a Neko!

1/July/2024

Neko

poem = death

1/July/2024

Poem/4/Death

Japanese people are confused. Very confused

24/June/2024

Japan is making a great success of 'brainwashing' people outside

Artist has to have an attractive look

23/June/2024

A poet, Sachiko Yoshihara

Fictions: more real than reality

21/June/2024

All of her data gone, yet still her delusions remain

Love; Shadow of a relationship

21/June/2024

Love is seen only looking back

Hospital

21/June/2024

Today I insulted a bunch of people

Autumn is Romanticised

21/June/2024

Intellectually, interesting. Emotionally, uncomfortable

writing fragments(28/May ― 6/June)

19/June/2024

some piece of writings

Anouk Aimée

18/June/2024

mellow. adult. aura.

Karma

17/June/2024

Attachment with, memories with, longing for The First Experience

Reading a poetry

17/June/2024

Poetry is very eco-UNfriendly

詩集を読む

17/June/2024

詩集を開いて最初に気がついたのは、空白の多さ

Insincerities with myself

17/June/2024

I can no longer ignore things I hate

Lack of Cynicism

11/June/2024

Her full trust with the world

A Certain Smile

11/June/2024

I was a woman and I had loved a man. It was a simple story. Nothing to make a fuss about

Deep Communication

7/June/2024

They immerse themselves & have a deep connection

Poland: end of my decadence

4/June/2024

10 years ago, I arrived in Kraków

不安は饒舌にする

2/June/2024

確証がもてず不安だから念押ししてしまう

Ugly Suicide

1/June/2024

His suicide is just laughable

'Knowledge is power'

31/May/2024

Knowledge is pleasure

Joy of Life

30/May/2024

Art works bring me the joy of life

生きていてよかった

30/May/2024

生きる歓び。作品との出会い。

Art & Romance

29/May/2024

Art and Romance. These are not 100% necessary for our life

芸術とロマンス

29/May/2024

芸樹 = ロマンス

本を書く理由 その3

28/May/2024

既存の本が「真実」を語っていないと思うから。そして自分の「真実」を世に問うてみたいから。

本を書く理由 その2

28/May/2024

読みたい本がないから。

本を書く理由 その1

28/May/2024

「自分の気持ちを代弁してくれた」という瞬間をできるだけ多く、できるだけ深く味わいたいから。

書く理由

28/May/2024

わからないから書く

Looking for a book

27/May/2024

Superiority of music, explains

Cloudy Day

27/May/2024

曖昧さを許す

鼻:ゼイタクな器官

25/May/2024

嗅覚。絶対性の欠如した能力。

Editing the world

25/May/2024

Artistic talent or Creative ability. They all means editing/世界編集

how can we be?

20/May/2024

like you

Reaching the truth of life: Tanizaki & Mishima

14/May/2024

Mishima: Rejecting life. Tanizaki: Accepting life

詩が読みにくい理由

11/May/2024

詩は作者に興味がないと読みにくい。

Words are a compressor

11/May/2024

Just like, 'SEX' brings such colourful senses to us

『かなしみよ こんにちは』朝吹訳と河野訳を読んで

9/May/2024

朝吹訳は現代ではもはや読むに耐えないものである。私は河野万里子訳しか選ばない

Traffic Light

9/May/2024

Traffic lights、嫌いなんだ

「女」を知ることはできない

9/May/2024

「女性を知る」とは「女性との関係を知る」になってしまう

Writing for dealing with life

9/May/2024

Dealing with one's emotions = Dealing with one's own life

点と線:作風の変遷を見るよろこび

7/May/2024

美意識。清濁まざりに混ざった混沌の奥深い色

本を読めば読むほど莫迦になり

7/May/2024

秩序によってまとめられたもの(本)と、秩序のないもの(現実)

'Bonjour Tristesse' by Françoise Sagan

4/May/2024

A novel that I wished not end, not finish but continue

『かなしみよ こんにちは』を読んで

4/May/2024

久しぶりに出会った、読み終わってしまうのが惜しい小説。フランソーズ・サガンの小説

Don't want to leave the world

3/May/2024

Unsolvable pain & pleasure from 'Bonjour Tristesse' by Françoise Sagan

Autumn is Romanticised(long ver.)

1/May/2024

Intellectually, interesting. Emotionally, uncomfortable

ねっとり

30/April/2024

赤いくちべに、濡れていた。ねっとりと

Lipsticks

30/April/2024

Her sensuality, exposed, overflowed & wet

I want to talk about only you

7/April/2024

A dream called melancholy

This is our first meeting. But I feel like I met you before

6/April/2024

Because it already exists in me before it exists in the world

Listening to 'ETERNAL'

5/April/2024

I don't want to listen to this album, as if consuming something

Stealing

3/April/2024

Stealing her perfume

Relationship that gives me a hope

29/March/2024

We end our relationship for now, but we will meet up again one day

Beauty doesn't exist

27/March/2024

The more beauty in his interpretation expands

Something more important

23/March/2024

Things that cannot be summerised by any words

ETERNAL ― my closure

22/March/2024

ETERNAL

ETERNAL ― alone

22/March/2024

ETERNAL

ETERNAL ― I know

22/March/2024

ETERNAL

ETERNAL ― 21 years

22/March/2024

ETERNAL

9TO3/3TO9

19/March/2024

I feel like this September will come soon

Other's sufferings heal us

16/March/2024

Art is born from pain & sufferings

Wish to be removed from her social media

17/March/2024

It exactly looked like a sign of her indifference

We Slept Because

16/March/2024

We slept together, because

Perfectionist 2

16/March/2024

Perfectionist, just because they don't have enough communication with other human beings

Hope

13/March/2024

I could have such a nice time in the past. Then, I will have another nice time again

Relationships are emotions

11/March/2024

We can't go back to the past. But we can

13 years

11/March/2024

11 March 2011

10 days

10/March/2024

Until 20 March 2024

'love'

7/March/2024

love, ephemeral, eternal

Rain stops

6/March/2024

small joy, small delight

my ephemeral, my ETERNAL

3/March/2024

Relationships are ephemeral, are ETERNAL

A Little Text

2/March/2024

Just listening, just nodding, eases and heals

After the breakup in 2020

2/March/2024

This is the reminder of her, of the time we spent time together

ETERNAL

1/March/2024

ETERNAL

She was not nice

29/February/2024

Perhaps she couldn't show the best or better sides of herself

my new ephemeral

29/February/2024

my new ephemeral my new ETERNAL

2020201620122008

29/February/2024

Once in four years

Sadness & Anger

28/February/2024

I feel sadness in a situation where I should feel anger

Arigatou

25/February/2024

bye bye, my ephemeral lily

2 years

24/February/2024

Ukraine, Kyiv, 2 years

I am anxious

24/February/2024

I am anxious, but I want to live

New Sadness

21/February/2024

New sadness of forgetting old sadness

Ephemeral Lily

19/February/2024

Memory of ephemeral lily. My ephemeral lily

Where my emotions are gone?

18/February/2024

I don't think it was all illusion

Something I've wanted to write about

10/February/2024

Everyone falls into speechless for a moment, when they know about a life of Mishima

Writing: Killing my hopes

7/February/2024

Writing can externalise things, visualising things in me

Ephemeral, yet Eternal

2/February/2024

Ephemeral emotion in us can be eternal. Ephemeral existence of us can be eternal

儚い。でも永遠

2/February/2024

その気持ちを正しく受け止めてくれる人に巡り会えれば、永遠になれるんだって

Anywhere, but not here

31/January/2024

I want the future

Macho Sentences

29/January/2024

I occasionally feel 'thirst' for his muscle-like sentences

my first sadness

27/January/2024

I could not stop my memories........'our memories'........being destroyed in front of me

はじめての悲しみ ― 9歳の薄弱

27/January/2024

あの日、雪だるまが壊されていく光景を見たあとの私は、悲しみの複雑さを知ってしまった私だった。

Modern Relationships 2 ― Visible communication

25/January/2024

Online communications are all recorded & extremely visible, thus it shows an imbalance of the relationship

Modern Relationships 1 ― Over-emotions

25/January/2024

Special treatment for emotions, over-estimation of emotions, worship for emotions, being a slave of emotions

Naked Trees

22/January/2024

She said 'the white snow decorates naked trees'

人生楽しいな、と感じたとき

21/January/2024

上村松園『花がたみ』、木村伊兵衛、着物の女の写真。関係ないと思っていたものが実は関係していたこと

Reading 'I was a girlfriend of Morita Masakatsu'

21/January/2024

It's a story about a woman who could meet a man that she can't forget forever

Japanese woman in Kimono

17/January/2024

Withered energy & overall tiredness are necessary for wearing Kimono beautifully

99th Birthday & Suicide may be selfish

14/January/2024

If Mishima Yukio was still alive, he would be 99 years old today

I want to be alone more

11/January/2024

Sometimes I feel so

Extraordinary

3/January/2024

A place holds memory

Here & There

2/January/2024

I still don't know what I should feel about it

「さあ」

29/December/2023

相手にやさしく語りかける言葉

We want to deny 'We are animals'

25/December/2023

And that's why sex is exciting. And that's why life is exciting

I like flowers now

28/December/2023

I didn't know how much joy & delight flowers bring to our daily life

Replying Texts

25/December/2023

Feels so difficult to reply a text, even just write Yes or No

Men are disposal

25/December/2023

Men are always a loser

Unconditional Love

22/December/2023

'I think love exists only between a parent & a child'

Love is violent

22/December/2023

Love demands everything

My sadness & loneliness will certainly continue

20/December/2023

I feel fear that I will still be very attracted to sadness, pain and loneliness in me

古典にこころ惹かれるわけ

17/December/2023

「私」とは誰で、どんな感じ方をする人間なのだろうという謎の探求

What I am tired is

15/December/2023

To believe I'm the right one. And the other is wrong one

I am nameless

15/December/2023

I am nameless, but...

I am a part of 'you'

11/December/2023

I am a product of these history & culture. I am an accumulation of these memories

旅を意義深くするもの

11/December/2023

歴史とは、目の前の対象と私とが同じ根を共有しているという確信である

Same Faces: pattern recognition

11/December/2023

Attention to details makes it hard to extract common elements & recognise patters

差異に目を奪われる

11/December/2023

部外者は認識がやや大雑把である故に共通する要素を見つけやすいが、現地の人は個々の差異に敏感なので共通する要素で対象をくくることが難しくなる

True Letter

11/December/2023

A letter is a snapshot of one's emotions

夜に手紙を書くこと

11/December/2023

彼の人生において、その一瞬にしか感じ取れない感情を、その一瞬にしか表現できないことを形にしたもの

moment by moment

11/December/2023

Truth ― moment ― Emotion

真実と感情

11/December/2023

とめどなく流れては去っていく、このつかみどころのないもの。感情とは、真実とは、そのようなものであろう。

We Learn Emotions

10/December/2023

A man 'learns' how to love by using his memory/experience of being loved by his parents

I have to hurt others

2/December/2023

No matter how much I don't want, I still have to hurt him/her, because

When I was innocent

28/November/2023

I was 100% innocent with what I wanted then

Only reason that allows me to stay abroad

28/November/2023

'Whenever I want, I can go back to my home country'

Unconditional Acceptance

24/November/2023

The more I leave Japan & come back, the more I become certain 'This is the only place'

Makes us Attractive

24/November/2023

'He gave this positive thing to me. And I still have an appreciation for it'

Days: Passed & Never Repeats

20/November/2023

Reading my diary from this summer

Approaching to the end

16/November/2023

Recently memories from the early days in Kraków come back to my mind

November: most depressing month

16/November/2023

Memories from nice beautiful autumn are still fresh, yet not ready

Still Can't Accept Her Emotions

15/November/2023

Because of this, we could think 'This is what a romantic relationship should be like'

Why are we so sentimental?

14/November/2023

Because the past is so safe

Idealised Past

13/November/2023

Life becomes absolutely unacceptable, unbearable, unforgivable

Real opinions about Japan

11/November/2023

This is my first time to hear opinions about my country from a person I know

My Attachment with Japan

11/November/2023

It's uneasy to be in a place where I don't have a strong reason for my stay

I can't live abroad forever

11/November/2023

The longer I stayed abroad, the more I felt unbearable

How To End Beautifully

11/November/2023

In the future, how will I remember this event that I'm experiencing right now?

Life is not a cheap Asian restaurant

9/November/2023

We cannot pick up only what we like

Ignorant Tears

8/November/2023

Being ignorant is a must to be beautiful

102 years war: Japan & Montenegro

1/November/2023

Some strange relations between Japan & Montenegro

日本語でしか言えないこと

31/October/2023

「ありがとう」という言葉でしか伝えられない、貴く、純粋な気持ちを思う

Emotions: Only one's own language can express

31/October/2023

Sakurai San. Still hard to believe you are not here anymore

Just One More Kiss ― Sakurai Atsushi

26/October/2023

Sakurai Atsushi's passing. Probably I'm scared this reality becomes real inside me

First day in Belgrade

24/October/2023

Serbian people, Japan, Tokyo

How to end a relationship

16/October/2023

The more I meet people, the more I feel how ephemeral relationships are

人に感動しすぎること

13/October/2023

私は他人をあまりに特別なものとして見てしまっているのではなかろうか

Pain of losing a memory

13/October/2023

I felt like I would never ever repeat that memory again with her

Life Template

12/October/2023

We often do things in life, not because 'I want to'. But because 'I am supposed to'

Be Vulnerable, Be Attractive

12/October/2023

Being able to express one's anxiety is attractive

Story To Tell

11/October/2023

I could not think I had 'something different' from others

Difference : Attraction

8/October/2023

'Difference' is what makes us attractive

Paulina

8/October/2023

Meeting her means I'm going to see how my life has proceeded and transformed for this 8 years & 8 months

Reason for contacting someone who we haven't talked

7/October/2023

Why do we want to contact a person who we haven't talked for a long time?

An ideal couple

4/October/2023

No doubts arise here. Because, here, there are only me and you

University Began

2/October/2023

They knew loneliness is not something they have to avoid. Rather it's comfortable, even friendly

Breakup Story 2 ― An Insult to Memories

27/September/2023

'Get over' or 'Forget her' feels an insult to memories from the relationship

Breakup Story 1 ― Forgive

27/September/2023

Forgive is the way to deal with breakup

オンナの不安

25/September/2023

この言葉はいまも、なにかたまらなくエロティックなもののように頭に残っている。

'Are you sure?' ― Source of Eroticism

25/September/2023

Are you sure? This question sounds more erotic to me day by day

Swim in the lake looks very Europeans

25/September/2023

Lake always brings me an impression of slightly mysterious & far away & intact

Lake

24/September/2023

When touching woman's watery part, I always feel I'm touching the lake

みずうみ

24/September/2023

指が濡れた性器に触れた瞬間はいつも、湖に指先をつけたような感触を運んでくる。

Happiness is Tasteless 2

23/September/2023

Feeling one's own emotion is the most strong, fresh, dazzling evidence of being alive

Happiness is Tasteless 1

23/September/2023

I felt such vivid, keen, acute emotions to the fullest

Loneliness in bed

22/September/2023

Emotions can't go away completely, once it's born inside us

How to Deal with Breakup

21/September/2023

Who can steal my deep appreciation towards him?

Photography I did a few years ago

21/September/2023

To extract beauty from reality & to compose another beauty

Eating Reveals

20/September/2023

Eating activity can reveal something very animalistic in us

Source of My Life Contradiction

19/September/2023

How these ordinary, mundane, down-to-earth, worthless garbage in my life is related to art works & people I find extremely significant?

Loneliness: Her Biggest Attraction

16/September/2023

Biggest attraction is always her loneliness

「ねえ」と「あなた」:わたしの好きな日本の言葉

15/September/2023

「ねえ」は相手が自分の存在を感じているという前提がある時にだけ使える麗しい言葉

I can't forget. I don't want to forget

14/September/2023

Feels like this unclearness of emotions is what makes us human

忘れられない。忘れたくない。

14/September/2023

私も歳を重ねて、徐々にこのグレーゾーン、いわば「感情のあわい」を自分自身の体験として、ナマナマしいものとして知り始めた

And I like you

11/September/2023

'Like'. This feeling always contains a certain sense of truth

『真実だったって』

11/September/2023

「好き」という気持ちには、なにか侵しがたいもの、高貴なもの、つまり「真実」がある

Discovery in Kraków

10/September/2023

Something I've been kind of annoyed in Kraków is

Woman Looks More Attractive at Night

10/September/2023

Probably because I couldn't see her whole face, but only a part of it

Far Away From

9/September/2023

With time, I feel my sensitivity became more shape & vivid

8 September 2012

8/September/2023

11th anniversary. Where was I?

Young boys & girls in the white shirt

4/September/2023

Young boys & girls in the white shirt overflowing

Contradiction = Attraction

3/September/2023

Contradiction is exactly her attractiveness as a human being

Attractive Story

3/September/2023

Lack of conflict between herself & reality around her

I still listen to you & I still like you

31/August/2023

This is the only thing that penetrates my 20 years

Not Sharing the Exact Same

31/August/2023

This notion easily leads me to a complete isolation

Spiritual Vacuum & Young Polish People

30/August/2023

These polite, considerate, kind, humanly notions are one of the youth's coping mechanisms with their spiritual vacuum

Most important thing for my life

29/August/2023

I reject everything I find ugly & I accept everything I find beautiful

Kiss

29/August/2023

I vividly felt she's surely an animal who is still alive

Warsaw Boredom

26/August/2023

For 2 years of my life in Warsaw, I wonder how I could deal with boredom & mundanity of human life

Skin Exposure

26/August/2023

Do I feel 'arousal' more often here than in Japan as a straight guy?

Exhaustion with local men

24/August/2023

I'm very tired of seeing big, macho, skin-head men on the street every single day

Religions & Suicide Rejection

23/August/2023

Suicide as a way of establishing oneself

Churches remind me of my origin

22/August/2023

It is this sense of connection that is completely missing when I visit churches

Attraction Deepening

22/August/2023

I could perfectly capture the moment that my attraction towards her deepened

魅了の深まるとき

22/August/2023

「いま、私はこの人に一歩深く魅了された」と、はっきりとこころの動きを認識できた瞬間のこと

Abe: Losing a part of my life

21/August/2023

Once the name of Abe was heard, sharp vivid pain was momentarily passing by

Beautiful Hands

20/August/2023

All attraction came from there & ended there

Meeting is not enough

19/August/2023

Writing for finding beauty

Another Normal Human Life

17/August/2023

I will be still dreaming of something that will destroy all mundanity & make me forget about myself

Attractive Qualities ― Vulnerability & Purity

16/August/2023

Recently I was thinking what kind of qualities in others I am attracted to

World War II & Summer

15/August/2023

I always have almost an emotional conviction that everything of WW2 was happening during summer

Can I still cry?

14/August/2023

How much pain, sadness, loneliness or happiness needed for cry

Flashbacks: 2018 & 2023

12/August/2023

Listening to one of my favourite singers, Yoshiko Sai's first album in 1975

Kyoko's House

10/August/2023

Kyoko's House is probably the most unfortunate novel in Mishima's career

35-year-old woman who has a 15-year-old body

9/August/2023

Her shines, her dazzling shines that she showed to the outside world only that night, only for a moment

15歳で成長が止まってしまった彼女の身体

9/August/2023

少女みたいな身体を彼女が持っていることに気がついた。

Kraków: Alternative History

8/August/2023

Staying in Kraków feels like I'm experiencing an alternative history that could have happened

She Looks Different From Photos

2/August/2023

The other day I met a woman from the online. And I felt what I always feel. A gap between photos & real

Leaving Japan

22/July/2023

One chapter in my life comes to an end

Overflowing Kawaii

21/July/2023

This entire country, Japan, is filled with these Kawaii/cute stuff everywhere

Holding the door open for others

21/July/2023

firmly believe they are the most polite & humble people in the world

Not Learning Japanese

7/July/2023

is the only way to stay sane

Moment for a drama

6/July/2023

So much empty space to be fulfilled with my illusions & delusions

Japanese Woman in Summer

3/July/2023

Summer is when more attention is required regarding one's fashion

Appreciating Male Beauty

29/June/2023

Appreciating male beauty seems far more pure & noble

Nonchalant Suicide

26/June/2023

Japan always has a very optimistic attitude on death, particularly suicide

Brainless Japanese

27/June/2023

Japanese people can't think about anything in their head

肌になじむもの

27/June/2023

日本で見かける日本人女性のファッションへの気の使い方にこそ、私の中にある女性の対する期待を満たすもの、私の肌に馴染むものがあるように感じられる

Intoxication: Only a woman can produce

25/June/2023

This is the intoxication only a man can receive & appreciate

Japan ― Humidity ― Asia

24/June/2023

Unfilled, unsatisfied, intense emotions that Japanese arts always express

Most Vulnerable Moment

24/June/2023

Any thoughts, any emotions, any memories can invade into our mind, yet we can't resist it at all

夏至

22/June/2023

夏至とは堕つることの始まりの日

Summer Solstice

22/June/2023

Always some strange feeling occurs when the summer solstice comes when I'm in Japan

identity

20/June/2023

This sense of continuity is what makes me 'me' today

Unsuitable Ideology

20/June/2023

We can play around with any kind of concepts, ideas & ideologies, that sound good and trendy

A middle-aged man has to be fat

14/June/2023

Excessive self-consciousness & sensitivity are suitable only for a young person

中年男は太っていなければならぬ

14/June/2023

完璧でないといけないという潔癖主義と繊細さは若者のものであって、中年男には投げやりと寛容が欲しい

Act as a Victim

11/June/2023

Being spontaneously rejected before being actually rejected by others

Perfectionist

10/June/2023

Being a perfectionist is a privilege of the youth. Only immaturity & inexperience can produce a perfectionist

『完璧主義者』という若者

10/June/2023

年を重ねる中で、「すべきこと」から逸脱して「すべきではないこと」を犯す場面に何度も遭遇し、そして犯してもなにも異常は起きないばかりか

Is sex must to make someone unforgettable?

8/June/2023

One momentarily encounter with a beauty was far more emotionally rich than sex

セックスと感情

8/June/2023

記憶には残るが、しかし生々しいものとしては残らない。

20 years of Emotion

6/June/2023

'I still listen to his music and I still like him'. This is the only thing that penetrates my 20 years

Innocent Ardency + Excellence = Beauty

6/June/2023

Accept only things that I find 'beautiful' & reject everything that I find 'ugly'

あこがれ ― 20年間好きな人

5/June/2023

あの人の音楽を今もまだ聴いていて、今もまだあの人のことを好きだということこそがただ唯一、この20年の人生の確かさを保証してくれているもののように思う。

こだわり

5/June/2023

美しいと感じるものだけを受け入れ、醜いと感じるものはすべて拒絶する。

Men's fear of being judged as gay(Homosexuality part 2)

3/June/2023

I can enjoy seeing good-looking Japanese boys on the street in Tokyo

Right-wing nationalist as well as gay(Homosexuality part 1)

3/June/2023

Even being gay could emphasise he is more loyal to tradition

ヨーロッパ人男性の恐怖(Homosexuality 2)

3/June/2023

「男の身を飾るべきものは服ではなく筋肉である」と彼らは内心ふかく確信している。

右翼であり同性愛者であること(Homosexuality 1)

3/June/2023

『三島由紀夫は右翼のナショナリストなのに、同時にゲイであるっていうのが面白いと思う』

DNA Level Bonding

27/May/2023

This undeniable feeling that this artwork & I are from the same place

Vanished Beauty

26/May/2023

Beauty of actresses is the only reason for still watching films

今は亡き幻を見せられる

26/May/2023

私が映画を観る唯一の理由は、美しい女優を見るためだけである。

Pretty Japanese boys & girls

21/May/2023

Haven't received this simple fun of seeing good-looking faces

Why young boys are like this?

20/May/2023

Men around 20 years old are the least attractive, but why?

若い男が魅力的ではない理由

20/May/2023

なぜ若い男は恋愛にこうも簡単に盛り上がってしまうのか。

私を「日本」につなぎとめるもの

20/May/2023

「日本」や「日本人」といったもの対してねじれた感情を抱き、私自身もはや100%の日本人であるとは感じていない。

広島G7サミット

19/May/2023

ウクライナの大統領がはるばる日本に来る報に接すると、日本として大きな一線を越えた感と「引きずり込まれる」といった言葉まで浮かんでくる

Hiroshima G7 summit

19/May/2023

Watching a live broadcast from Hiroshima where G7 summit happening

日本人がレビューをする時

19/May/2023

日本でGoogle Mapを使って最初に気がつくのは、高レビューの店が少ないことだ。

Memory of her skin

16/May/2023

Under the strong sunlight Touch the flower

Tokyo

15/May/2023

I'm too familiar with this inhuman environment & inhuman humans, and I'm one of them

東京

15/May/2023

東京への滞在が長引くほど、日本のウィルスが我が身へと深く浸透してくるのを感ずる。

まなざし

14/May/2023

「のぞき」や「盗撮」のニュースは見るたびに覚える嫌悪。この国の人間のどうしようもない精神的もろさ、 精神的未熟、精神的奇形がよく表れているからである。

写真にうつる顔を隠す異様さ

13/May/2023

日本のYouTube動画やSNSの写真を最初に気づくのは、背景に映る人や同じ写真に映っている人の顔がモザイクで消されていることだ

Japan, Excessive, Contribution

13/May/2023

Menstrual pads, tampons, sanitary items for women are inside

日本の過剰の不気味

13/May/2023

住んでいる街の図書館の入り口近くには机があり、そこには広報の知らせや市内のイベントのチラシなどが置かれている。

生々しさ

13/May/2023

同じ国の人から母語で投げかけられた言葉、そこにある不気味な生々しい手触り・・・・・、この生々しさこそ実は私がもっとも目を背けているものだった。

Realness of the war in Ukraine

12/May/2023

A chat with a random Japanese babushka left me strange feel of realness

Complicated Relationship with My Language

10/May/2023

My relationship with Japanese language is very distorted

作品の愉しみ方

10/May/2023

『poetry』と『亡骸を・・・』。変わらないものと変わるもの・・・暗さ、悲しさ、妖しさ、美しさ・・・そう、同じ美学が流れている。

目にあまる低俗な日本語

9/May/2023

プログラミング関係の文章を読んでいて目にあまるのが低俗な日本語である。

Shootings in Serbia

6/May/2023

'Thank you for coming to our country', said Serbian uni student

あやめ

4/May/2023

だらり あやめ

デジャヴ

2/May/2023

この週末、立て続けに不思議な経験をした。ある本を読んでいて、そこに書かれていることが、まるで自分がかつて書いたことのように見えたのである。

Japanese is not a speaking-oriented language

29/April/2023

Japanese always cut off a sentence & always put a pause between each clauses

Japanese has to be spoken timidly

29/April/2023

If it's spoken confidently, like we speak English, it just doesn't sound like Japanese

女の肌を思い出させるもの

28/April/2023

ツツジに触れて

日本語と私

25/April/2023

私と日本語の関係は知らぬ間に非常にねじれてしまった。いつのまにか日本語全体が他人に対する拒絶の道具になっていたのである。

Eye Contact

24/April/2023

An entire population in this country are morbidly communication phobic

日本語で書くこと、英語で書くこと

23/April/2023

「言葉を探す」とは、違う考え方をする、違う視点で物事をながめること。これが英語では単語あるいは熟語を探す程度しかできず、日本語ほどの広さと深みが生まれない。

Standstill & Drastic

22/April/2023

Over the past 15 months This book stayed on my bookshelf Standstill But I changed, and the world changed Drastically

Japanese people are morbid

7/May/2023

Japanese people are spoiled, weak, passive, dependent, nervous, awkward, morbid

Feel Woman Most

20/April/2023

This is the moment I feel 'a woman' most vividly

女の音

20/April/2023

目でもなく、鼻でもなく、耳こそが女をもっとも感じる器官なのかもしれない。

Our Perception

20/April/2023

A coffee served by a nice cafe staff. We have a good impression about this cafe Strange

海外生活の長い人が日本語に違和感を覚える理由

18/April/2023

伊藤詩織『裸で泳ぐ』にしばし眼を通す。ひとつ興味深かったのは、筆者と日本/日本語の摩擦関係である。

Japanese & 'You'

18/April/2023

Several days ago I was meeting someone who was studying Japanese

日本人と『あなた』

18/April/2023

「あなた」という言葉は、日本語では非常に使いづらい。むしろ日本語では「あなた」という言葉をほぼ使わない。

Japanese Apology

17/April/2023

Unbearable mental weakness of being submissive spontaneously & avoiding all potential conflict by an apology first

耽美派と『そこから青い闇がささやき』

16/April/2023

山﨑佳代子『そこから青い闇がささやき』をここ2、3日読んでいた。

『そこから青い闇がささやき』を読んで

15/April/2023

ここ数日、山﨑佳代子の新著『ドナウ、小さな水の旅 ベオグラード発』と2003年発刊の『そこから青い闇がささやき』を読んでいた。

Traveling with a book

11/April/2023

I always find hard to read it while traveling

Separation I & Me

10/April/2023

If I was a foreign person I could innocently naively appreciate things in this country

Nationality & Individuality(part 3)

9/April/2023

There is a couple of risks in living abroad

Nationality & Individuality(part 2)

9/April/2023

Denying one's own country inevitably leads us to self-denial & self-hatred

Nationality & Individuality(part 1)

9/April/2023

There is a drama between nationality & individuality

Why are the Japanese so bad at English pronunciation?

8/April/2023

The reason is not Japanese has simpler sounds, but something coming from Japanese morbid mindset

日本人が英語の発音を苦手とする理由

8/April/2023

日本人が英語の発音を苦手とするのは、日本語の音が単純とか音に慣れていないといったことだけでなく、「音を軽視する」という日本語の特徴のためである。

Attractive Names

4/April/2023

The Tale of Genji's chapter titles all sound attractive

Objectivity & Subjectivity(part 3)

3/April/2023

Japanese people look like a robot

Objectivity & Subjectivity(part 2)

3/April/2023

It's far easier, far safer for us to believe in objectivity than subjectivity

Objectivity & Subjectivity(part 1)

3/April/2023

Sometimes take a look at books about Japanese grammar

Visited the countryside & felt guilty

2/April/2023

Visited grandparent's place last month

A book about a man who got into cosmetics

2/April/2023

I was thinking women use cosmetics only for getting attention. Cosmetics are only about facial beauty

'Thinking' means 'Looking for words'

1/April/2023

Something appears in me Something I want to write about Then, which language to use for this?

Japan's history makes me dizzy

1/April/2023

These days I was often reading books about Japan's Heian period (8 - 12th Century)

Abe's place

31/March/2023

Visiting this place was actually one of the main reasons why I went to Nara

A memoir about women

31/March/2023

Reading a memoir by Shintaro Ishihara who was a famous writer & a politician

Letter and Scent

31/March/2023

This close attention to details, this sensitivity, is something the Japanese in 21th century lost

Question on Literature Studies

31/March/2023

But at some point, I started to feel something unbearable in these literature studies

Difficulty in a long novel

31/March/2023

Feels like I want to celebrate that today I could finally finish reading this extremely long 11th century novel

Haiku poets in Russia

30/March/2023

Came across an interesting book. A collection of Haiku(Japanese style poem) written by 8 Russian ordinary citizens

42nd Chapter: The Tale of Genji

29/March/2023

More than 1 month has passed since I started The Tale of Genji, the oldest novel

Temple & Shrine

29/March/2023

Sometimes got asked differences between temple & shrine

Impossibility of Sharing

29/March/2023

In the last day in Nara Rainy morning Saw this flower

Best way for hiding oneself

29/March/2023

The best way to hide myself is to avoid my 1st language, but use my 2nd language

My Avoidant Attachment Style with Japanese Language

29/March/2023

Over the past decade, when I was abroad, I desperately avoided Japanese people

石原慎太郎の自伝を読む

28/March/2023

近日、石原慎太郎の自伝『「私」という男の生涯』を数日かけて読んでいた。

Sakura: Momentarily yet Eternally

28/March/2023

A bit of an unfortunate year, Sakura falling quickly

日本人の礼儀正しさ

27/March/2023

無人レジがあると、必ずそちらを選ぶ。時に意地でも無人レジを選ぶ。

My impressions on Nara

23/March/2023

Stayed in Nara for a bit Nara is Japan's oldest capital city, before Kyoto

奈良滞在

23/March/2023

奈良を訪れた。3泊4日のごく短い滞在だったが、この街の印象を記す。

Short stay in Nara

19/March/2023

My stay in Nara was quite short

My most difficult relationship

19/March/2023

Talking about Japanese people means talking about myself. There is a subject I tried to avoid over the past couple of months

Travel Changes

19/March/2023

My expectation from travel seems changing

Rough impression on Nara

18/March/2023

Feels like Nara is represented by hills

Unity & Individuality

18/March/2023

Nara's traditional houses often have wooden vertical grid

Names contain more history

17/March/2023

Like Kyoto, many old names remain in Nara as a district name

Mishima's calligraphy

16/March/2023

Mishima visited & stayed in Sai shrine in Nara in 1966 to do research for one of his last novels

Reasons for visiting Nara

16/March/2023

I came to Nara this time only because I wanted to walk on these wild roads

Nara, a birth place of Japan

15/March/2023

Nara is far less known city, comparing to Kyoto

Kagawa: my real hometown

15/March/2023

Leaving Kagawa

White Russians

12/March/2023

Quite struggling yet still reading The Tale of Genji translated by Tanizaki

Mishima & Tanizaki

9/March/2023

I've liked Mishima for a really long time, but always sensed something morbid around what he wrote

Nothing but an impulse

6/March/2023

In a bookshop Saw a new book by Kayoko Yamasaki She is a Japanese poet & professor at the University of Belgrade

外国に住みながら、日本人に向けて書き続ける疑問

4/March/2023

書店にて山﨑佳代子氏の新著『ドナウ、小さな水の旅 ベオグラード発』を見かける。

Youth

1/March/2023

Waiting as always at Starbucks in the central Tokyo at 21:30 Full of young people, around 15 - 20 y.o.

Reading Abe's memoir

28/February/2023

While talking, something unexpected comes out of our mouth

Unexpected things come out of our mouth

28/February/2023

While talking, something unexpected comes out of our mouth

Will & Effort for Observers

27/February/2023

I have no interest in Mishima, but just curious why he could have such a strong will power?

One year passed

24/February/2023

Over the past 1 week or even more, Japanese magazines, newspapers, TV, online news etc., all have talked about the war

February

20/February/2023

Towards the end of February, always some reluctant feeling is built up in me

Books to read after travel

18/February/2023

An autobiography by an infamous Italian seducer from 18th Century

My impressions on Kyoto

18/February/2023

I had never expected that 2-week-stay in Kyoto brought me such vivid impressions

京都滞在

17/February/2023

2023年の1月終わりから2週間ほど滞在した京都のことを書く。

Takano Etsuko: Railway crossing

14/February/2023

This was one of the places I had to pay a visit in Kyoto

Jealousy with drawing

13/February/2023

Last summer in Perast, Montenegro Saw a guy drawing a landscape

Camellia

13/February/2023

Can't predict where luck is

Kyoto, a compact city

10/February/2023

Writing a letter, knowing this letter won't be delivered

A letter that won't be delivered

10/February/2023

Writing a letter, knowing this letter won't be delivered

Silence in the conversation

10/February/2023

I prefer to have a silence in conversation now

'I like rainy day'

10/February/2023

I didn't need her answer

'I will not see you again'

10/February/2023

A few days ago I was meeting a girl

Kamo River

10/February/2023

Kamo river is undeniably one of elements that make Kyoto attractive as a city

Still Possession

8/February/2023

man is just one of woman's possessions

Uji, Kyoto

8/February/2023

3 days ago I visited Kyoto's southern town, Uji

An Outsider Japan

8/February/2023

When exchanging words with local person in Kyoto, in a restaurants/cafes/shops/street, I often feel some slight embarrassment

Loneliness Foreigners Japan

7/February/2023

Over the past several years, foreigners in Japan always catch my eye

Rome & Kyoto

6/February/2023

One of the things I found nice in Kyoto is Faces I pass on the street are diverse Languages I hear on the street are diverse

Foreigners in Kyoto

5/February/2023

One of the things I found nice in Kyoto is Faces I pass on the street are diverse Languages I hear on the street are diverse

Accent

2/February/2023

Sounds much softer, tender & surely more attractive, especially when pronounced by female

Self Love

2/February/2023

When I go to other country, I always think what a horrible place Japan is

Individuality & Quirks

2/February/2023

I find one's individuality & quirks, which everyone has, extremely fascinating

First Impression on Kyoto

1/February/2023

My random impressions on Kyoto

Why am I visiting Kyoto?

29/January/2023

I'm unsure if Kyoto is famous or not abroad, but I'll stay in Kyoto for a bit

Kyiv―Yoshiko Sai―Etsuko Takano―Kyoto

28/January/2023

During my 1st visit to Kyiv, I often listened to 1976-released-album by Yoshiko Sai

Female Barista

28/January/2023

Often come to this cafe in Tokyo. One female barista, looks uni student

'An Origin of 20 Years Old' by Etsuko Takano

26/January/2023

Past few days, reading a diary written by a Japanese girl Published in 1971 & became popular among the young

Why difficult to enjoy translated books?

25/January/2023

There are 2 reasons here

Keeping Beauty or Destroying Beauty

24/January/2023

The more you get to know him/her, the more you have to face something unbearable, something unacceptable, something unforgivable

憧憬の源:二〇歳

24/January/2023

最近、高野悦子の本を読んでいるが、そこにはかなり多く、あの年頃への憧れがあることはたしかだ。

自分の見方、自分の意見、自分の思想が欲しかったころ(高野悦子『二十歳の原点 序章』)

24/January/2023

高野悦子『二十歳の原点 序章』を読んでいて、彼女が「本を読んでも文字を追っているだけと感じる」という一文が目に入る。

Bombarded by Garbage

22/January/2023

Exposed to completely unnecessary matters everyday

A man of innocence

20/January/2023

If you're not that innocent, you can't commit suicide

Joanna

18/January/2023

Yesterday I was walking toward Warsaw city centre. On the way, I noticed a girl with short hair walking ahead of me

わたしのやりたいこと

17/January/2023

結局わたしのやりたいことって、「好きなこと」とかではなく、濃い時間を過ごしたい、ってことに過ぎない

人間は絶望からは自殺できない

17/January/2023

人間を自殺に誘うのはロマンティシズムだ。甘いRomanticism。

高野悦子「二十歳の原点」を読むからっぽの自分

16/January/2023

高野悦子の「二十歳の原点」をここ数日読んでいた。

Unhappy in my life, but Fruitful in my diary

16/January/2023

Going through lots of emotional roller-coasters in 2017

Transience Beautifies Every Single Moment

15/January/2023

Without death, how can we try to live for this moment as much as we can?

Sincerity

15/January/2023

Just like everyone, I'd like to be sincere with others

Talking about 'love' looks foolish

15/January/2023

Love always rejects understandings from others

'I'm an artist'

14/January/2023

Nowadays.....well, over the past 10 years.....everyone uses this phrase

Art & Theme

14/January/2023

What is the theme of this film? What is the message this writer express?

Loneliness & Suicide

14/January/2023

In our society, there are things that we're prohibited to approve

Ephemerality of Relationships

12/January/2023

The more I meet people, the more I feel how ephemeral & fragile relationships are

Do I want to meet her again?

11/January/2023

Let us enjoy full range of our emotional spectrum

Silent Jealousy with Mishima

10/January/2023

A bookshop is one of places I go right after coming back to Japan from abroad

Dealing with emotions with words

10/January/2023

Haven't made much progress these days Writing is such a rational activity

Too many hopes on youth's shoulder

9/January/2023

Today is national holiday in Japan A day of celebrating people who have turned 20 y.o. and welcome them into adulthood

Avoid external things but juicy part

8/January/2023

These information is very important to draw the whole story we want to share, but it is not the most juicy part

Easy to be happy

6/January/2023

Easiest way to be happy

To live sincerely always ends up in suicide

6/January/2023

The more I get to know Mishima and his life, the more I become certain 'To live sincerely' always ends up in suicide

The Truth

6/January/2023

Almost all truth is neither pleasing nor comfortable. It destroys something inside you

Void of being close to others

5/January/2023

You happen to meet someone and get a very good connection, but parted without exchanging contacts

Realisations Poland gave me

5/January/2023

So far I went to Poland 4 times and every time a certain significant realisation came to me

Renata

4/January/2023

Renata was my colleague in a company in Amsterdam

Emotions Can't Be Summarised

3/January/2023

In a store, I always see books showing summary of famous world literatures

Most important thing to write down

3/January/2023

what are you writing in your diary everyday? This is the question I often get asked and I always answer, slightly hesitantly

Melting Romance & Chocolate【4 years later】

2/January/2023

I wrote this in autumn 2018 just before my ex-relationship properly started

Unhappiness Tells More

2/January/2023

Being happy is the most insensitive state of mind

Memory of 'Living in a moment'

1/January/2023

In the New Year, what we shouldn't do the most is probably reading an old diary

Emotion's Purity

31/December/2022

「感情の純粋」を保つには、先を考えてはいけない。結果を考えてはいけない。

Moment & Emotion

31/December/2022

The below is an extract from my diary in March 2017

Cute skinny feminine Korean boys

28/December/2022

This summer in Sarajevo in Bosnia, I came across this street concert

L

26/December/2022

L is an English woman I met in Amsterdam. Remembering her while reading my memos from 2016

ART OF LIFE/すべてを破壊せずにはいられない衝動

26/December/2022

By quoting lyrics from the song I'm attached to like this, what can I tell?

About 2022

25/December/2022

This year will soon come to an end

Foreign Japanese Women

24/December/2022

In a foreign country when having a drink with local men/guys/boys, I frequently got askedm

Memory of a Czech Girl

22/December/2022

So far I often mentioned Mishima here, so that I always missed an opportunity to touch another writer, Tanizaki, Will write a bit about him

Tanizaki and Lust

21/December/2022

So far I often mentioned Mishima here, so that I always missed an opportunity to touch another writer, Tanizaki, Will write a bit about him

Sensitivity & Strength

19/December/2022

'Silent Jealousy' is one of 2 songs that couldn't be missed in my Amsterdam days

I still remember?

16/December/2022

Reading tons of memos I wrote in 2015 - 2017 while living in Amsterdam I always think I have a quite good memory and don't forget a person I go out with

'Loneliness in Tokyo is beautiful'

4/December/2022

What I've been annoyed in Georgia is stray dogs and Georgian men

不快な街、ジョージアのトビリシ

11/December/2022

ジョージアの首都トビリシ。今回来てみてよかったら次回は長期滞在をしようと思ったが、おそらくそうはならないであろう。この街には非常に不快な要素があったからである。その点をくわしく書く。

Countries On One Continent

4/December/2022

Before coming to Tbilisi, I was in Georgia's 3rd city, Kutaisi, a very small town, for 3 days and saw a monument It said the Polish president during WW2, called Władysław Raczkiewicz, was born in this town

Things I dislike in Tbilisi, Georgia

4/December/2022

What I've been annoyed in Georgia is stray dogs and Georgian men

First impression on Tbilisi

26/November/2022

1 week passed Haven't yet composed my thoughts about this city of Tbilisi Haven't found an uniqueness of this city yet

Memory Fades Away

25/November/2022

52 years ago today Yukio Mishima died It was sunny Wednesday noon in 1970 and it quickly became nationwide news

Abe and Me

15/November/2022

More than 4 months passed since his death, but I still think about Abe

Student Anxiety

13/November/2022

Seeing students. Remembering a certain sense

Polish people and history

11/November/2022

Walking on the street called Filtrowa Nothing special. Just a 1 kilo metre long street in Stara Ochota district in Warsaw

Memory of a girl in London

9/November/2022

Remembering a girl in London

Pain & Sadness: I don't want to forget

30/October/2022

Remain this pain, sadness, loneliness inside me

I've been listening to your loneliness

30/October/2022

Remain this pain, sadness, loneliness inside me

Desire for Eternity

26/October/2022

One of motive for creation is desire for eternity, ecstacy for eternity

Her Fragrance Makes My Soul Intoxicating

23/October/2022

Tanizaki said 'Alcohol makes our body intoxicating. Fragrance makes our soul intoxicating'

Warsaw and Tokyo

19/October/2022

Warsaw and Tokyo My first visit to Warsaw was June in 2014 And from the very beginning, my impression about this city hasn't changed at all

Bosnia, Drama, Perspective

19/September/2022

We can easily find 'a drama' in Sarajevo, with a small amount of knowledge that an elementary school history textbook tells us

Queen's death and Me

10/September/2022

Yesterday was a bit strange day My 2nd book was based on my experiences in London where I lived for 2 years I needed to finish it by 8/Sep, because this day 10 years ago, 8/Sep/2012, was the day I left Japan for the UK and my London life began

Scars on the City, Sarajevo

9/September/2022

There is a big cemetery on the way to Yellow Bastion from Sebili It caught my attention because it looked very unusual Very unusual that such a big cemetery exists just 3min away from city's most popular touristic spot

Ignorance & Beauty

8/September/2022

Everything that belongs to beauty comes from from only ignorance and delusion

サラエボのノマドカフェ

7/September/2022

サラエボで、パソコン作業に適したノマドカフェを紹介する。

Roses

7/September/2022

What I've been pleased in Balkans is rose

Latin Bridge, First World War and Abe

7/September/2022

Here is where Austrian crown prince and his wife were killed in 1914

Bosnia and Ukraine ― Scars of memory

4/September/2022

When seeing the Bosnian flag for the first time, I thought about Ukrainian flag Just because, this blue & yellow color combination Such a petty resemblance In my original plan, Bosnia was not on the list

セルビアのノマドカフェ

31/August/2022

ベオグラードで、パソコン作業に適したノマドカフェを紹介する。

Mountains in Bosnia

25/August/2022

What I'm pleased in Bosnia is being able to see mountains Mountain is always tightly related to my memory of Japan because mountains can be seen almost everywhere there

Mishima Yukio in Serbia

18/August/2022

Yukio Mishima, a most acclaimed Japanese writer His last work consists of 4 novels Even in Japan, I've never seen these 4 books are bundled and sold like this

Dazai Osamu in Serbia

5/August/2022

In Serbia I see this Dazai's book in most of bookshops Looks like it's translated into Serbian recently It's kinda interesting because Dazai was never recognised by the oversea readers

推敲前後の文章の比較

30/July/2022

ここ数ヶ月、私の本の推敲作業を長々としてきた。推敲作業、あるいは編集作業において、誤字脱字を直したり、不自然な表現を改めるというのは初歩的なところで

My Thoughts about Shinzo Abe 3

14/July/2022

Watching the scene of ex-prime minister Abe's private funeral So many were gathering in the temple in the central Tokyo and so many shouted their thank you & gratitude to Abe

My Thoughts about Shinzo Abe 2

9/July/2022

It's been quite surprising for me after I wrote about Japan's ex-prime minister Abe last Friday 

My Thoughts about Shinzo Abe 1

8/July/2022

I got lots of DMs about Abe, like 'News about him keeps showing up' 'Who is he? Is he a good guy?' 'Very unusual to hear gun incident in Japan' etc.

いやらしさ

20/June/2022

日曜日の午後、ベオグラード中心部のカフェでコーヒーを飲んだあとのバスでの帰りぎわのこと

野バラ

18/June/2022

House of Flowersの周りにはバラの小さな木がいくつもあって、花を実らせていた

セルビアとロシア人

17/June/2022

セルビアにはロシアからの移住者が多い

ショッピングモールの爆破予告

14/June/2022

ベオグラードのショッピングモールの爆破予告に思ったこと

ユーゴスラビア博物館

12/June/2022

ベオグラードのユーゴスラビア博物館を訪ねた時のこと

地方にある、誰も知らない美しい寒村のような

9/June/2022

ベオグラードのゼムンはオーストリア=ハンガリー帝国の影響が色濃く、ベオグラードしないとはまったく別の景色のある街

女の美に感嘆する軽薄

20/April/2021

海外に住んでいた時分、私は何度か同性愛者だと見なされたことがある。相手は、私の服装や言動や雰囲気からそういう印象を受け取ったということだが

「東欧」という言葉

26/January/2021

芦田均の『革命前後のロシア(自由アジア社/1958年)』収録の「ウクライナからトルストイの墓へ」と「黒海周遊記」をとても興味深く読む。

Abe and Lukashenko

7/September/2020

Japan's Prime Minister, Shinzo Abe, announced his resignation on 28th, August. This was very shocking news for me. Some sort

肉体労働者に対する叙情的関心

9/August/2020

昨日トラムに乗っていると、上半身裸の男が車内に入ってきた。男は足が悪いのかびっこをひいており、この街のホームレスがよく持っている引き車のようなものを男も持っていた

自分の美しさを知らない薔薇

28/July/2020

生命力に満ち溢れた百合について書いて思い出したのは、この百合とは真逆の姿を示していた、昨年の初春に買った一本のバラのことである。

生きている百合

27/July/2020

黄色の百合が目に入る。そこは公園でも教会の敷地内でもなんでもない、道端である。大振りの黄色の百合が、幅3メートルほどの路地裏の小脇に咲き誇っていた。

死を想う

26/July/2020

人間というものは、死を考えて初めて、「人生」というものを始められるのではなかろうか。我々は、両親の淫交によって意味もなく生まれ落ち、そしてその発生過程の淫らさを認識できる故に

永久不滅の人種差別

6/July/2020

'Black Lives Matter'のムーブメントはあっという間に全世界に波及し、一時はもはや収拾のつかなくなった様相さえ呈していた。 現在はやや下火となったように見えるものの、先月上旬ごろの勢いは

異邦人として生き続けることへの疑問

24/May/2020

私はこれまで数カ国に住み、今も外地に身を置いている。かつては「日本国とのお付き合いは年に1度程度に限らせていただき、それ以外の時は外地に住んでいよう」と考えていたのだが

忌まわしい力学

20/May/2020

ポーランドでは、若い人の比較的多くがMaster Degree、つまり大学院修士の学位を持っている。これは基本的に学士課程が3年、修士が2年となっているので

空白の認識

2/April/2020

私が現在住んでいる国では外出禁止令が出ており、今日ですでに3週間に垂んとする。毎週この規制は厳しくなっており、今では、必需品購入以外の外出は禁止、散歩・野外での運動も禁止

隔離下の時間

1/April/2020

外出禁止という異常な状況におかれ、時間の制約がある事柄、Time sensitiveな事柄を抱えた人々はどのようにこの状況に対処しているのだろうかと思いを巡らす。来週から

白のチューリップ

25/March/2020

いくつかの後味の悪い記憶によって私はチューリップが嫌いである。また、幼年時代によく学校でチューリップを育てさせられたので、私には

ストーリー

20/March/2020

現代は「ストーリー」で溢れている。特にこれが顕著なのは仕事関連の領域で、起業家や経営者の「どうしてこの事業を始めたのか」という話題では

美しい女

11/March/2020

キエフを去る。機上の人となる。離陸前、キャビン・アテンダント(CA)から非常事態時の対処について、いつものレクチャーがある。CAが私の横に立つ。とても美しい女性CA

わたしと芸術

7/February/2020

私はあらゆる作品(往々にして「芸術作品」や「アート」と呼ばれるもの)に、クリーンなイメージを持てない。それはひとえに「作品とはその制作者の苦悶の

定住の条件

30/December/2019

数年前は、日本国とのお付き合いは年に一回程度の「里帰り」に限らせて頂き、それ以外の時は海外にいようと考えていた。しかし

死ぬと決まった人間の幸福

28/December/2019

これまで数カ国に滞在をしてきたが、ある国を去る時の解放感というのはなんとも形容しがたいものがある。これまで同じ地平で過ごしてきた周囲の人間たちを

行為と意味

28/December/2019

旅行を計画する時、いつも同じ問題にぶつかる。旅行の旅先、日程、移動手段を決められないのである。

刹那の唄、歌う

12/December/2019

自分のこれまでの生を振り返ってみると、自分は21世紀の人間のある典型例を示しているかのように感ずる。コミットメントを

Becoming Beautiful Oneself

9/July/2019

I saw that beauty and ethics are one and the same

Absolute and Concrete World

3/May/2019

People who live in a concrete world: They are those

具体と抽象の世界

26/April/2019

この世界は具体と抽象の2つの領域がある。私はどちらかといえば抽象の

Humans Never Become Mature

21/March/2019

We often over-evaluate older people, thinking like

純粋な賛辞:男が男を褒める時

24/January/2019

女性が他の女性を褒めることと、男性が男性を褒めることとの間には、その認識に対して

An Era of Emotion

16/January/2019

Soft man, feminine man, beta man etc......, many words are

Absolute Boredom

16/January/2019

What is an opposite thing of 'satisfaction' or 'fulfillment'?

Free From the Era

9/January/2019

Last night I was remembering friend’s sayings about Murakami and Mishima

Uncontrollable Nature of Life : Reading 'The Temple of Dawn'

26/December/2018

Today I started to read Mishima’s 'The Temple of Dawn'

Pitfall of Living Abroad

24/December/2018

Why is living abroad exciting and so sweet?

言葉による汚染

17/December/2018

自分の感情を言葉で表現した時に感じるあのズレはなんであろうか。

We Live in the Middle of a Transition

21/November/2018

We tend to think that our parent or people in the past had more stable

人生の不条理 ― 社会と個人の対立

21/November/2018

「人生の不条理」とは、次の2点に集約されるのではなかろうか。1-「自分の望むことが

「狭間の時代に生きている」という感覚

21/November/2018

狭間の国々といったらよいであろうか。狭間にあるということは、自らの主体性が

幸福観念

10/November/2018

ヨーロッパでの滞在が長くなってくると、私と「彼ら」とは、根本的なところで認識の差があるのではないかという

海外で長く住んでいる間の価値観の変遷

24/October/2018

海外で住み始めると、自分の想定した通りには物事が進まないことにまずは驚く。これはある意味当然で、それまでの住み慣れていた場所(=日本)を離れ、全く新しい環境に身を置けば、まずはそこの「ローカルルール」に慣れる必要がある。

心を中を打ち明けるという罠 ― Oversharing

15/October/2018

なぜ私は他の人に興味を持つのか?それは他の人の生き方や考え、物事へのアプローチの方法の中に、自分自身を見ているからだ。

Melting Romance and Chocolate

4/October/2018

I was eating a chocolate this morning. And I noticed how alike a chocolate & a relationship are.

豊かさと貧しさを産む偶然

29/September/2018

ウクライナはキエフを訪ね、ふと思ったのは、ある国が貧しくて、ある国が豊かというのは、不平等であると同時に、その大半が様々な偶然の結果であろうということ。

生きるということ

14/September/2018

生きるということ。自殺とか自決とか、言い方はなんであれ、自分で自分の人生に終止符を打つことに対するネガティブな印象というのは拭がたいものらしい。

Why does the Japanese glorify death?

10/September/2018

One of the answers is quite interesting. This answerer describes the Japanese attitude toward death very well

'How to Die?' ― the 2nd Question

27/August/2018

The first question we face in our life is How to Live?

A Note from Summer

27/August/2018

Every single moments were as beautiful as my memories, as beautiful as she was, as beautiful as......

How to Love

22/August/2018

What is needed when we love someone or something? I think the most important condition for love is ephemerality

「私」と「世界」とを対立構造に置く認識

21/August/2018

歳を重ねるほどに、自分の気質に合う価値観、美意識、Sense of beautyが次第に明らかになってくるのを感ずる。

第2言語の危険

13/August/2018

自分の第2言語は英語であるが、第2言語で考えたり、話したり、聞いたり、人とコミュニケートしたりする危険を時折り感じる。

Un-humanistic Nature of Happiness

11/August/2018

Happiness is lukewarm.Tragedy is far more vivid, far more keen, far more lively, far more human.

人間の再生、復活、転生の忌まわしさ

9/August/2018

死んだら全て終わりだとか、死ぬまで生きることを人間の使命と考えたりするのは卑しい。人生を単に何かを為すための時間と考えることも卑しい。

無意味な生を生きる者たち

9/August/2018

6月に東海道線新幹線の車内で起きた殺人事件。その事件の詳細を知ると、単なる「殺人事件」というよりかは「猟奇殺人」という方が適切だと感じられるような凄惨な事件。

『貴方になって 狂おしくて』

9/August/2018

数ヶ月前の話ですが、アルバム『夜、カルメンの詩集』を聴きました。清春という歌手の新作アルバムです。この記事のタイトルは

Bearable Life

4/August/2018

Long time ago I had a pet, a small animal. Sometimes I felt that he taught me something.

Happiness is Tasteless

11/May/2018

Many people want to be happy. Many people tend to think being happy is one of the ultimate goals in our lives. But one thing we should not forget is that happiness itself does not provide anything to us.

なぜKazuo Ishiguroの本はつまらないのか

6/May/2018

最初に断っておくと、私はKazuo Ishiguroの本をすべて読んでいるわけでも、Kazuo Ishiguroについての知識が豊富なわけでもない。 読んだのは処女作「遠い山なみの光」と、代表作とされる「日の名残り」だけである。

Eternal Life & Death

12/March/2018

To live forever. They say this has been a dream of human being since our history began (I have never dreamt of it, though)

思い出の重さ

12/March/2018

その昔、ある小動物をペットとして飼っていたが、彼を見ていると、その無邪気さには何かを教えられる心地がした。「今」だけを生きているような、その無邪気さ。

作品の「メッセージ」を読み解こうとする現代人の誤謬

10/March/2018

本や絵や映画や音楽といったアート作品や芸術作品を鑑賞する時、そこには必ず何らかの「メッセージ」が込められていると信じて、それを生真面目に必死に読み解こうとする人たち。

春の憂鬱

6/March/2018

まだ肌寒いものの、3月に入り、日の昇る時間は確実に早くなり、一歩一歩季節が変わりつつあるのを感ずる。日本で春を迎えるのは3年ぶりだ。

大都市に住むことの危険

4/March/2018

これまで東京、ロンドン、アムステルダムと、その国の首都、つまり一番大きい街にばかり住んできましたが

小説を読むことの危険

3/March/2018

「小説を読むことの危険」について触れる前に、その読み方について。

Sari/去り

27/February/2018

一度去った場所にはもう戻れないし、戻るべきでもない、というお話を。

日本の愛し方

20/February/2018

「ふるさとは遠きにありて思ふもの、そして悲しくうたふもの......」で始まる室生犀星の有名な詩がありますが、私が日本ついて思う時はいつもこの詩を思い出します。

宗教

19/February/2018

宗教とは、無礼を承知で噛み砕いて言うと、瞑想やヨガなのではないか、というお話です。

死を想え

15/February/2018

「メメント・モリ」というラテン語を耳にする機会は、ここ10年ほどの間に非常に増えたと思う。これもSNSの発達で、多くの個人の発言を目にする機会が増えたからだろうか。

「誠実に生きる」の意味

15/February/2018

ここ数年、「人生を誠実に生きる」ということは、究極的には「自死する」ということと同義なのではないか、という思いが自分の内からどうしても拭えない。

ロンドンの人が一番恐れていること

15/February/2018

ロンドンに住んでいた頃、知人がふと言いました。

ひとに感謝を伝えること

14/February/2018

感謝されることは嬉しい。人の喜びは人にも伝わるから。

或いはオプティミスティック

14/February/2018

若い頃はどこかネガティブで暗く、メランコリックなものに惹かれていた。

記憶とつながりの関係

14/February/2018

ある人から予期していないメッセージが来た。

人生に対する認識とは

13/February/2018

「人生に対する自分の認識が数年間変わってないこと」に疑問を感じていたと以前書きました。

人のこころへのアプローチ方法

13/February/2018

ポジティブとネガティブ。オプティミスティックとペシミスティック。

価値観が変わることについて

13/February/2018

価値観が変わるというのは、喜ばしいことでもあり、恐ろしいことでもある

読書の効用

10/February/2018

アムステルダムに住んでいた頃、「自分は全く進歩していないのではないか」という思いに囚われることが時折あった。

生きる目的の喪失と時代の価値観

9/February/2018

「自由」という考え方が多くの人(特に若者)に受け入れられ、人生の選択肢が爆発的に増える中で、自分はいつもそこに同化することができない何か、諸手を上げて賛意を示すことができない何かを感じていた。

このサイトについて

28/January/2018

忘備録として、日々思うこと、過去の想起、特にこれまでの海外生活について