20 years of Emotion

6/June/2023 in Tokyo

*Japanese ver

When we like something or someone for a really long time,

at some point, we'd notice this feeling of "like" becomes an independent existence/entity

And this emotion seems more important than something/someone we originally like

August this year

20 years will have passed since I knew & liked him

20 years was long enough

It was too long

It was so long that made me convinced that I will still like him even in the coming future

His voice, his lyrics, his melody & his style are inseparable elements of my life

And what I noticed is,

Surely he is an important figure for me

But this emotion, "I still like him", is perhaps more important

is the fundamental nature of an emotion

It changes all the time
& it should change all the time

An emotion has to flow like a river

But if the emotion stays the same for a long time, at some point, it evolves from liquid into solid thing

20 years of emotions is 20 years of memories

For this 20 years, his music was always next to me & his melody, his words, his lyrics, his voice......all brings me important emotions

called nostalgic
called sentimental
called warm
called joyful
called ephemeral
called sad
called lonely
& called......

"I still listen to his music and I still like him"

Feels like this is the only thing that guarantees the continuity of my life for this 20 years

During this 20 years,
the world changed
my surroundings changed
my life changed
& I changed

During this 20 years,
so many things rose & fell before my eyes without any reasons
so many people appeared & disappeared before my eyes without any reasons

20 years of one's life is, basically, a chaos

It's a mess

It's a junk box

All kind of things in it
without any order
without any direction
without any reason

But that's why, something unchanged, something stayed the same, seems even more dazzling

"I still listen to his music and I still like him"

Feels like
this is what penetrates my 20 years
this is what connects my past with my present
& this is the significant part in my sense of beauty