Feeling one's own emotion is the most strong, fresh, dazzling evidence of being alive
I felt such vivid, keen, acute emotions to the fullest
With time, I feel my sensitivity became more shape & vivid
11th anniversary. Where was I?
This is the only thing that penetrates my 20 years
This notion easily leads me to a complete isolation
For 2 years of my life in Warsaw, I wonder how I could deal with boredom & mundanity of human life
I'm very tired of seeing big, macho, skin-head men on the street every single day
I could perfectly capture the moment that my attraction towards her deepened
Once the name of Abe was heard, sharp vivid pain was momentarily passing by
How much pain, sadness, loneliness or happiness needed for cry
Listening to one of my favourite singers, Yoshiko Sai's first album in 1975
Staying in Krakow feels like I'm experiencing an alternative history that could have happened
So much empty space to be fulfilled with my illusions & delusions
Appreciating male beauty seems far more pure & noble
Always some strange feeling occurs when the summer solstice comes when I'm in Japan
This sense of continuity is what makes me 'me' today
We can play around with any kind of concepts, ideas & ideologies, that sound good and trendy
Excessive self-consciousness & sensitivity are suitable only for a young person
Being spontaneously rejected before being actually rejected by others
Being a perfectionist is a privilege of the youth. Only immaturity & inexperience can produce a perfectionist
One momentarily encounter with a beauty was far more emotionally rich than sex
'I still listen to his music and I still like him'. This is the only thing that penetrates my 20 years
Accept only things that I find 'beautiful' & reject everything that I find 'ugly'
I can enjoy seeing good-looking Japanese boys on the street in Tokyo
Even being gay could emphasise he is more loyal to tradition
This undeniable feeling that this artwork & I are from the same place
Beauty of actresses is the only reason for still watching films
Under the strong sunlight Touch the flower
I'm too familiar with this inhuman environment & inhuman humans, and I'm one of them
Menstrual pads, tampons, sanitary items for women are inside
There is a couple of risks in living abroad
Denying one's own country inevitably leads us to self-denial & self-hatred
There is a drama between nationality & individuality
Japanese people look like a robot
It's far easier, far safer for us to believe in objectivity than subjectivity
Visited grandparent's place last month
Something appears in me Something I want to write about Then, which language to use for this?
These days I was often reading books about Japan's Heian period (8 - 12th Century)
Visiting this place was actually one of the main reasons why I went to Nara
In the last day in Nara Rainy morning Saw this flower
The best way to hide myself is to avoid my 1st language, but use my 2nd language
Over the past decade, when I was abroad, I desperately avoided Japanese people
Talking about Japanese people means talking about myself. There is a subject I tried to avoid over the past couple of months
My expectation from travel seems changing
While talking, something unexpected comes out of our mouth
I have no interest in Mishima, but just curious why he could have such a strong will power?
Towards the end of February, always some reluctant feeling is built up in me
Last summer in Perast, Montenegro Saw a guy drawing a landscape
Writing a letter, knowing this letter won't be delivered
Kamo river is undeniably one of elements that make Kyoto attractive as a city
Past few days, reading a diary written by a Japanese girl Published in 1971 & became popular among the young
Exposed to completely unnecessary matters everyday
Going through lots of emotional roller-coasters in 2017
Just like many other people I want to be sincere in front of others
Love always rejects understandings from others
Nowadays.....well, over the past 10 years.....everyone uses this phrase
What is the theme of this film? What is the message this writer express?
In our society, there are things that we're prohibited to approve
These information is very important to draw the whole story we want to share, but it is not the most juicy part
Almost all truth is neither pleasing nor comfortable. It destroys something inside you
So far I went to Poland 4 times and every time a certain significant realisation came to me
In a store, I always see books showing summary of famous world literatures
Being happy is the most insensitive state of mind
In the New Year, what we shouldn't do the most is probably reading an old diary
The below is an extract from my diary in March 2017
This summer in Sarajevo in Bosnia, I came across this street concert
By quoting lyrics from the song I'm attached to like this, what can I tell?
This year will soon come to an end
In a foreign country when having a drink with local men/guys/boys, I frequently got askedm
So far I often mentioned Mishima here, so that I always missed an opportunity to touch another writer, Tanizaki, Will write a bit about him
'Silent Jealousy' is one of 2 songs that couldn't be missed in my Amsterdam days
Reading tons of memos I wrote in 2015 - 2017 while living in Amsterdam I always think I have a quite good memory and don't forget a person I go out with
52 years ago today Yukio Mishima died It was sunny Wednesday noon in 1970 and it quickly became nationwide news
More than 4 months passed since his death, but I still think about Abe
One of motive for creation is desire for eternity, ecstacy for eternity
Here is where Austrian crown prince and his wife were killed in 1914
What I'm pleased in Bosnia is being able to see mountains Mountain is always tightly related to my memory of Japan because mountains can be seen almost everywhere there
People who live in a concrete world: They are those
We often over-evaluate older people, thinking like
What is an opposite thing of 'satisfaction' or 'fulfillment'?
Last night I was remembering friend’s sayings about Murakami and Mishima
Why is living abroad exciting and so sweet?
We tend to think that our parent or people in the past had more stable
One of the answers is quite interesting. This answerer describes the Japanese attitude toward death very well
The first question we face in our life is How to Live?
What is needed when we love someone or something? I think the most important condition for love is ephemerality
Happiness is lukewarm.Tragedy is far more vivid, far more keen, far more lively, far more human.
Long time ago I had a pet, a small animal. Sometimes I felt that he taught me something.
Many people want to be happy. Many people tend to think being happy is one of the ultimate goals in our lives. But one thing we should not forget is that happiness itself does not provide anything to us.
To live forever. They say this has been a dream of human being since our history began (I have never dreamt of it, though)