Spirit

20/April/2025 in Tokyo

The other day

I visited my parents

They have a tree where butterflies lay their eggs

And around this season,
I see newly-born butterflies

And often,
they are deformed

Approximately 50% of them have some kind of “difficulty”—

— they can’t fly, and die soon


At night

Underneath my parents’ car

I saw a butterfly that had just become an adult

But
this one also seemed to have a problem with its wings

and unable to fly


For a moment, I wondered
why I had stopped here, instead of just walking toward the door and going inside the house

For a moment, I wondered
what this “sadness” was, rising within me

"..........I have nothing to do with this butterfly......this mere insect"

"..........this wasn’t one I took care of or waited to become a beautiful butterfly. It just suddenly appeared in my path, and my eyes 'mistakenly' caught this small insect"

"..........there’s no reason I should feel any attachment to this existence"

"but..........there is something very acute, very natural in the sadness I'm feeling now"


Perhaps
this is what is called "sympathy"

Even such a tiny, mere insect also has a soul and tries to live

just like humans
just like myself

"He" and "I" are both living existence

We are both under the same condition;

Born once — Die once

One life — One Death

An ephemeral life

Fundamentally, we are from the same place
And we are heading toward the same place too


........I wanted to give him something to eat

He was probably born last summer,
spent autumn & winter in a cocoon,
And now in spring,
he had finally become a butterfly

So much time had passed to reach here—

—here, in the middle of the concrete, beneath a car


And before his death

I wanted him to eat something — something sweet

My mother had a jelly for insects

I placed it in front of him

It probably surprised him, and he began to walk, ignoring the jelly

I put it in front of him a couple more times,
but he kept ignoring it

It felt like
I took a glance of his "will"

It felt like
even such a tiny existence has its own will that deserved to be respected

Respect
from one ephemeral living existence
to another ephemeral living existence


..........Next day came

He was not there anymore