14/January/2023 in Tokyo
"What is the theme of this film?"
"What is the message this author tries to tell?"
This kind of question is always presented in front of art works, as if themes, concepts or messages exist prior to the creation
In the past I was thinking the same
And often I was more curious about these abstract things than film/book/painting/song itself
Hence I got confused when hearing these Mishima's words;
"........when I start writing, also while writing, I don't know what the theme is. Theme appears only after I finish the writing"
Later, when I myself got involved in a creative activity, I finally realised what it means
My 2nd book is a memoir on my London period
Before writing........even after I began writing........, I wanted this book to be for those who are curious of going abroad yet feel hesitation
London was my first foreign place
I had many concerns and hesitance before leaving Japan
Therefore I wanted this book to be something that would encourage those who are in the same position
But once completed & read what I wrote, I had to realise this book is nothing encouraging
but it's all about my loneliness & solitude
Then, I finally realised what Mishima said: "Theme comes at the end"
It makes so much sense
If the crystal-clear theme/concept/message exists prior to the creation and it doesn't change at all before & after, what is the point of creative process?
If nothing changes before & after, then this creative process........writing a book/drawing a picture/composing music........it all becomes "task"
Before writing, I have some vague "theme" or an idea of what I'm going to write, but it's still very unclear
While writing, it gets clearer
And after the writing, I find what I actually wanted to write
This transforming myself
is the pleasure of creative process