Intoxication: Only a woman can produce


*Japanese ver

Something I can't appreciate enough for my life is

I was not born as a woman

No matter what happens........"reborn" or "reincarnation" or whatever........, I don't want to be a woman

I want to remain a man who can fully appreciate & fully receive things that only a woman can give

In a cafe, I was reading a book

A woman came & sat next to my chair

20 - 25 years old
Average height
Converse sneaker
White blouse
Black hair
........And slight perfume came to my nose

"A woman sat next to my seat"

This was all what had happened

Was there anything special here?
Not at all

But such a trivial ordinary thing the woman had done brought me a slight sensation

And probably the most important point was;
At that moment I hadn't seen her face yet

She appeared in a cafe, suddenly
She sat next to my seat, suddenly
And I was reading a book about suicide, quiet enthusiastically

No time
No chance
No mental space
to "check out" her face

But all elements around, moves, posture, way of behaviours, perfume.........indicated that her face is surely attractive

Yet, again, I didn't know if it was true or not
And actually, it didn't really matter

She already brought me enough delight

Just being there, just existing there.........vibe, air, aura.........a female existence can intoxicate a man enough

This is the intoxication only a woman can produce
And this is the intoxication only a man can receive & appreciate

And I don't want to be a woman

.........Then, I was remembering a love letter that Tanizaki (a famous Japanese writer in 20th century) wrote to his future wife in 1932

"I'd like to be your slave. Both physically and spiritually. Please abuse me as much as you'd like........."