Writing Fragments (19/August ― 18/December）

19/August

These days
I'm writing different fashion senses in my home country and here in Poland, or in Europe

This is something I've been thinking & feeling for a really long time,
yet couldn't really put into words

Now, I'm externalising it through writing

And I can feel
I'm stepping into a dangerous territory
I'm approaching a very dangerous point

Probably this is something I don't need to know

There are many things in this world we don't need to know for our own happiness

And of course,
I'm the one who prefers to believe my own subjective delusions rather than objective "the truth" for my own happiness

---

Seemingly, it's about fashion
But actually, it's about something fundamental
that nobody can change
that I can't change

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1/September

淫靡
妖艶
愛欲（or 色欲）

---

10/September

youth, ruth, truth

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8/November

Surface of the oil paintings

I know
I'm not the only one who is always tempted to touch
this shiny, voluptuous, forbidden skin

---

20/November

Starting the new diary feels like
starting the new chapter of my life

---

22/November

My friend ordered
a cheesecake with Matcha

Matcha is everywhere in Poland

hype
over-rated
new propaganda machine

---

Something I'm slightly annoyed by "Matcha" is

this spelling

I still often look it up its correct spelling before typing it

The spelling has to be "Maccha"
definitely not "Matcha"

Sushi or
Ramen or
Harakiri or
Hentai..........
these important elegant Japanese words are all respectfully spelled in English

But not this green powder

---

27/November

I can't believe
someday I will die

I can't believe
someday my heart will stop beating

Someday
I won't be able to feel this joy of life I'm vividly feeling right now

---

10/December

Camellia／Tsubaki
in Kyoto, 2023 winter

I feel like
I don't mind traveling all the way to Japan
only to see this flower

Will stay in Kyoto next month
Already somewhat excited

---

10/December

A random German guy: "So, which town in Japan are you from?"

Me: "Ahh, well, ah, I'm from......Tokyo town"

German guy: "Oh that's nice"

Me: "Yeah, it's a very nice town"

---

11/December

"Conflict between societal roles & personal identity"

Always

---

11/December

Writing a diary

Sentences arrive at the end of the page, so
go to the next page and continue.....

But

when page changes, I often feel
I lose a chain of my thoughts and
I start wondering what I was just writing and
I lose something I can't get back again anymore

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18/December

"Culture" or
"Nationality" or
"My home country" or
"Japan" or
"Eternal" or
"Dream" or
"Love" or.......

If we think it exists,
then it exists

If we think it doesn't exists,
then it's doesn't exist