Bearable Life

4/August/2018 in Warsaw

Long time ago I had a pet, a small animal.

Sometimes I felt that he taught me something.

Sometimes I felt that his innocence taught me something.

His innocence looks like he lives for the present moment.

His ignorance looks like he is not threatened by accumulation of the past and by the unknown future.

His passion that he lives the moment as much as he can.

Without past, without future......

If we could live without any memory, without any reflection, how light, how easy, how bearable, how acceptable and how forgivable our lives could be.

The longer we live, the more memories increase.

Exciting memories, melancholic memories, sad memories, cheerful memories.

Our memory is like data in computers.

Computer’s memory, such as MB, GB, does not have any physical weight, but the more data we save, the more computer gets slower.

Our memory also does not have any physical weight, but probably it has a certain "weight", and so, as we live longer, some "weight" is added to our lives.

And just like computer, we gets slow as well.

And we gradually feel a certain hesitance to embrace joy, excitement, loneliness, sadness, and happiness.

Our lives gradually lose its innocence, its cheerfulness, its lightness and its adolescence, and we get tied with heavy rusty chains.

If I could delete all memory......

If I could swipe out all accumulation of the past and can start to live from now......

If I did not think about the future at all and focus on only this present moment......

Sometimes I remember my old pet and envy his "happiness".