26/December/2022 in Tokyo

This morning

Remembering an English woman while reading my memos from 2016 for my book

She was my colleague in a company in Amsterdam

Her name was what initially got my attention


To my ear, this sounded just "L" and for a while I was thinking its spelling is also simply "L"

and I felt what's a mystical name

Later, when we exchanged social media, I noticed her full name is "Eleanor"

Apparently her look & sunny personality caught my attention too

She somewhat reminded me of a Japanese actress who I liked a long time ago, called Mikako Ichikawa in her early 20s

My memo mentioned one scene where I'd found she had a boyfriend

It was a common area in downstairs of our company building

As I left the office in the evening, I passed there and saw El kissing a guy

It was not shocking or heartbreaking because it was not like I had feelings for her or anything

But at the same time, it was not strange that I would've envied this guy in some way who had this cheerful cute woman as a girlfriend

My memo said...

"I saw my colleague El kissing a guy, but didn't feel any disappointment or jealousy. Because he didn't look cool. His appearance wasn't attractive to my eyes, which means his sense of beauty is different from mine. I found I don't envy or feel any jealousy with someone who doesn't share the same sense of beauty as mine"

Several months later, a company party was held and El came together with the guy

And she told me they met on Tinder

She then added, "It's pretty embarrassing, though"

But El didn't look like embarrassing at all and gave me a cheeky smile