Writing: Killing my hopes

7/February/2024 in Tokyo

Surely, writing helps us

Surely, writing gets something off our chest

And surely, writing can make us feel lighter & better

At the same time,
writing can externalise things, visualise things inside us

Writing, and then, reading what we just wrote,

can make sure,
can emphasise,
& can fix reality in front of us

Sometimes, I feel fear at writing things inside me

It is fear of pushing

a possibility,
a wish,
a hope in my mind

into dry cold reality

............And I'm remembering what Mishima said;

"Every night, I write. And by writing, I fix, confirm and end reality second by second"

For Mishima, writing must have meant;

Removing all "possibilities"
Discarding all "wishes"
Eradicating all "dreams"

And choosing something else

Facing reality
Facing the truth
Facing his own life

No matter how unacceptable it was