Something I've wanted to write about

Something I've wanted to write about for a while

Yet I don't know how

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Death of Mishima

When we get to know a life of Mishima Yukio,
everyone falls into "speechless" for a moment

Even for 0.5 seconds,
everyone must catch their breath

No matter who she/he is,
they all become numb momentarily

Why?

This is the question
And its answer is exactly what I want to write about

Probably I know why
Probably, I don't want to know why, yet

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For us,

just one case
just one example
just one exception\

is enough

to believe the most absurd thing
to change the view
to act differently

Just like,
if we see the dead person coming back to life again,
if we experience "magic",
then we can no longer see the world in the same way before

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For Mishima

"To live as much as possible"

had the same meaning as

"To kill himself"

For Mishima

"To live to the fullest"

means

"To commit suicide"

In order to "live",
Mishima had to commit suicide that way

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"Ridiculous"

"Too delusional"

"Too much nonsense"...........

I can hear these words now

And I do think it all sounds valid

But for Mishima,

without suicide, he had failed
without suicide, his life couldn't be completed
without suicide,

If he had lived long,
if he had died due to old age or illness,
it must have meant "Mishima"