Unconditional Love

22/December/2023 in Tokyo

"I think love exists only between a parent & a child"

is a line I said to a woman from Belgium

"Well......., That's sad"

She said

It was 2016
It was behind the Amsterdam Central station
It was Friday night at 11pm

And it was the first time for me to verbalise my idea about so-called "love"

7 years passed
My idea about love still remains the same

But, since that day in 2016,
I've been feeling some hesitation to believe my idea of love is right

Probably because of the reaction the Belgian woman showed

"Well......., That's sad......"

I could clearly see why she said like this

"Love exists only between a parent & a child"

I said this, because I was (and I'm still) convinced that my parents would care about me, no matter what happens

I could (and I still can) believe
emotions they show to me is highly likely "unconditional",
Or, at least close to unconditionality

Compared to this,
things between a man & a woman...........or more specifically, "me & a woman"...........are far from unconditional

But, perhaps,
I've been a bit too obsessed with its unconditional aspect

Perhaps "love" doesn't have to be unconditional

And perhaps,
"love" is much wider, much broader idea, and "unconditionality" might not be its key component

Or perhaps,
it's simply wrong to compare "love" between a parent & a child with "love" between me & a woman

Even their unconditionality is apparent to my eyes,
it doesn't mean I want to (or actually I'm able to) spend a long time with them

If I spend for 1 hour with my father, I'd like to go away

But with a woman I'm attracted to, 1 hour feels too short

Also, looking back,
I could become aware of unconditionality of my parents, only after I became very adult

Only after I realised something about me, about my life & about them, about their life

Took me more than 20 years to see their unconditionality

Probably the same amount of, or more, time is needed to see unconditionality of other type of love (..........if unconditionality is actually necessary)