Attractive Qualities ― Vulnerability & Purity

16/August/2023 in Krakow

Recently I was thinking
what kind of qualities in others I am attracted to

Both in women & men

"Vulnerability" & "purity" came up

(*This is just a rough sketch of my thoughts. There are other qualities for attraction, but this time I'll touch only these 2 qualities)

Vulnerability......, in other words, one's fragility, or one's weakness

I tend to find this quality in women, so I'll use "she"

When she looks fragile, vulnerable, or in pain, as a normal human being myself, I can't help feeling sympathy with her

And in some way or other, it could be the reason why I'm initially drawn to her

In simpler expressions, I feel;

"I'd like to help her to solve her issues"
or "I'd like to support her"
or.....these kinds of very humanly sentiments 

The other quality is "purity"

I tend to find this quality in men, so I'll use "he"

It is his attitude that

he tries to be loyal to what he believes,
he tries to be true to what he feels right,
he tries to be pure with his own sense of beauty

Without purity and/or innocence, it is impossible to dedicate oneself to things one believes

To firmly believe in something......or, to firmly believe in oneself......, a certain purity, a certain innocence, or a certain naivety, are always necessary

Because you can't believe in everything

You have to disregard 99.9% of things

If you want "an inclusive truth".......very kind, very gentle, very polite, very acceptable truth......., then you can't reach an absolute purity

At least you can't intoxicate anyone
At best, you end up in "A very nice person"

The only thing that produces attraction & makes others intoxicated is one's determination for "an exclusive truth"

"An exclusive truth" is, in other words, "a subjective truth"

Highly likely, there are lots of people who don't understand
Highly likely, there are lots of people who disagree with
Highly likely, there are lots of people who go against

But one's own truth usually doesn't make sense to others
One's own truth inevitably makes you alone
One's own truth always brings loneliness

But that's why it makes you attractive, if you firmly, purely believe in it & act on it

Vulnerability & Purity

From my experience, "vulnerability" is a short-term attraction

It got me drawn to her rather quickly, yet it doesn't last long

Sympathy is short-lived
Kindness is limited

On the other hand, "purity" can be a source of long-lasting attraction

I've been drawn to someone for the past 20 years. It is exactly because of his purity

Probably "vulnerability" is a relatively easier to be recognised from outside, while "purity" is something we need time to see

"Is he loyal to what he believes?"
"Is he true to what he feels right?"
"Is he pure with his own sense of beauty?"

To measure the level of his determination, time is needed

And the longer he believes, the higher the level of his purity becomes

And makes me more intoxicated & deepens my admiration towards him