by axxxm
Writing Fragments (28/May ― 6/June）
19/June/2024 in Tokyo
28/May
Sex makes a man depressed/melancholic
Tired at the best
Sex makes a woman cheerful
Energised quite often
28/May
"Have you ever liked me?"
Somehow this phrase has been echoed these days
Maybe because of guilty
29/May
I did photography
But the more I did, the more I looked down on photography
The reason was simple
It was the way I did
Took as many photos as possible and later pick up the one
No concentration needed
No intention needed
No willpower needed
Only "luck" expected
I though photography is such a lazy form of art and I quickly disdained it
"If one doesn't make an effort, then it's not real"
.........This sounds very modern, very fashionable, very capitalistic view, even to myself
Time and effort must be invested
for growth,
for improvement,
for better,
for the best..............Despicable
30/May
"I'm naive"
Somehow I can't trust this word, especially from a younger person
Back in the days, did I think I was naive?
Not at all
Just corrupted
30/May
Suicide is a privilege
Suicide is a special right reserved only for the young
Once we pass a certain age,
we're not allowed to commit suicide
Once we miss an opportunity,
due to fear or arrogance or blindness or ignorance or love or.........
then we have to live until we die naturally
To live........To live as long as possible........is the punishment for those who miss an opportunity
People commit suicide for various reasons and, obviously, the suicide I'm talking about...........the suicide I can accept...........is its extremely small percentage of the entire suicide
Perhaps once a 10 years
31/May
21 years ago
you stole my heart
And please,
please don't give it back to me
Please keep holding my heart
31/May
I don't want to meet her
I don't want to spend time with her
But I do want to see her hands
No idea what this desire is
31/May
"It was through him I had learnt to know my own body. It is always through the body of another that one discovers one's own, at first with suspicion and then gratitude."
― "A Certain Smile" by Françoise Sagan
1/June
"狂ったmotion
殺したfiction
Teleportation
星のpossession
燃えるemotion
またobsession
滅ぶillusion
幻よ"
1/June
After meeting a bunch of people,
what I noticed was
I tend to get a better connection with a person
who is an artist or who does creative actions of any form
The reason must be
their interpretation of the things and the world, how they interrupt the world is similar to me
For them
the world is not filled with "improvement" or "growth" or "effort" or "progress" or "best version of myself" or "be real"
Each of them have a different way of approaching the world and knowing these unique craft is inevitably intriguing
They are not satisfied with getting there factory made app installed
They are seeking their own app to install and always wondering
1/June
I studied sociology in uni
And my take on it is
to remove,
to delete,
to eradicate sociology, psychology, philosophy, art
............all these subjects that encourage to grow one's abstraction ability
Being objective,
rationalising things,
having meta perception
......these are the easiest & quickest ways to lead us to the complete unhappiness and endless dissatisfaction
Only being subjective
never try to see things hidden behind
staying in the most superficial layer
is the only way to be contended and fulfilled
3/June
if knowing means exposing the truth, then I don't need such truth
I don't need comprehensive inclusive truth
Only exclusive truth is desired
3/June
Reading an interview with a male dating cousin about his clients
saying "Most of my clients think all problems they have are solved by having a girlfriend. It's totally false"
......I couldn't agree more
Every time I got a girlfriend, I found myself not as happy as I had expected
All problems, issues, difficulties remained the same.
Even one additional "problem" was added to it......
6/June
9 months looks like 9 months
9 months sounds like 9 months
9 months feels like 2000 years
