I am anxious

24/February/2024 in Tokyo

I am anxious

I want "the answer"

I want "the right thing"

I spent hours and hours to look for it online

I asked a bunch of people around

I read hundred thousand of books

But deep down
I knew there is no such a thing,
called "the answer"

It doesn't exist outside myself

It exists only inside myself

I have to define what the answer is for myself

I have to create the answer for myself by myself

To define the answer............
This brings lots of anxieties and worries
And often I want someone to give it to me


"Make the next step forward"
"Make progress"
"Move on"

or "To live"

or "Life"

must mean

To find something that looks like "the answer"

To take enough time to think about

And in the end
To make up one's mind "This is the answer for me"

To reach the point where
"I don't know what other human beings think, but at least this is the answer for me"

And just live with it

..............Probably this process is called "Live one's life",

or simply "Life"

No matter how lonely this process is