Pain & Sadness: I don't want to forget


Sunday morning

Still reading my 1st book, that is based on my life in Warsaw from 2018 - 2020

But I have to finish it today

Because the story of this book ends at the day of 30 October 2020

It was the day I left Poland 2 years ago

50% of the book is about a relationship with my ex-girlfriend

It was the relationship that I stayed here for 2 years for

It was the relationship that showed me, told me, and revealed me who I am

That relationship ended based on our mutual agreement

I wanted to end it and she wanted to end it too

So, when it came to an end, there were no, let's say, "ugly feelings", such as anger or hatred toward her

But only pain and sadness

Just after breakup, it was very sharp and acute

Then gradually less and less

When remembering these emotions now, it still exists in my mind, and most probably will never completely disappear, and actually I don't want these emotions to go away from me, but remain forever here inside me

This pain

This sadness

And this loneliness