24/December/2018 in Warsaw
Why is living abroad exciting and sweet?
So far I’ve lived in 4 countries and gradually realised why.
When you go to a foreign country, "you can be special".
All of your attributes can potentially get attention from other people.
Name, look, behaviour, fashion, thoughts, accent, language etc., all these "normal qualities" in your home country turn to be "special attributes" in a foreign country.
Especially if you are from far-away country, this novelty tends to be bigger.
But once you notice its superficiality and illusion, you would realise that this is quite dangerous.
Even if you feel special abroad, you are still the same person.
You just forget or ignore miserable reality and a banal life in your home country.
This illusion of "feeling special" is so strong that you can get intoxicated and forget to face your own life.
Without effort and being conscious of it, you easily fall into a pitfall and you hope to stay abroad just because of "feeling special".
Probably now, I’m a bit tired of living in foreign countries in general.
But considering this pitfall, I hesitantly realised that the only place I can face my life is my home country.
This is where all reality, all condition and all difficulty I have to deal with in my life exist and still remain the same.
As my foreign stay gets longer, I feel more that I cannot stay abroad forever, but I have to go back to my home country "at some point in my life" or perhaps "as soon as possible".
Otherwise, I cannot escape from some sort of emptiness and boredom.