3/January/2023 in Tokyo
"What do you write in your diary everyday?"
This is the question I often get asked and I always answer, slightly hesitantly
"Well, about what I think, what I feel..."
"slightly hesitantly", because I do know this isn't the answer they want to hear
They expect something different, something more specific
But the truth is that what I write is all about what I think and feel, in other words, all about my emotions
It feels pointless if I write only mere dried information, such as weather, where I went, what I ate, who I met etc.
These "external things" are important, but can easily be done by taking a photo on my phone
But things a camera lens can't capture.....my internal things.....are what I need to write down
For me personally, there are many things to write down particularly after meeting other person/people
After having a conversation over coffee/drink, I always feel a quite strong impulse to write
He/she said something...., and I felt something with it...
He/she showed some behaviours, moves..., and I felt something with it...
This unpredictable reaction inside me is what I always find interesting in an interaction with others
"Unpredictability"...., probably this is what I'm looking for, what I desire the most, what I expect the most from communication with others
As much as I can't predict what other person says/does, it's also impossible to predict what comes out of myself...., this curiosity towards myself is a fundamental drive for communication
It feels kinda funny that "curiosity towards myself" or "interest in myself"...., this seemingly very self-centred, very narcissistic attitude is what makes a bridge between me and others
In order to find ourselves, we can't be alone and we do need others
So far I've used this term, "write", but I'm sure the same principle goes to other creative activities
Even taking a photo by phone
We take a photo of landscape, sky, flowers, dogs, kids or whatever
Firstly because, obviously apparently we want to show off on Instagram 😇
But more importantly, and more simply, we find "beauty" in it and so we feel an impulse to take a photo
In other words, an interaction between us and the world produces "beauty"
By taking a photo, we want to capture and save this emotion, which is ephemeral & impossible to hold, and then we will be able to remember it whenever seeing the photo
Emotions, coming from an interaction between us and the world, must be the fundamental drive for any creative activities we do
And those who feel this impulse much more would become professionals, called
or more accurately, "loser", "psychopath", "trash"
or more honourably "weirdo", "pervert", "Hentai"