Most important thing to write down

3/January/2023 in Tokyo

"What do you write in your diary everyday?"

This is the question I often get asked & I always answer, slightly hesitantly

"Well, about what I think, what I feel......"

"slightly hesitantly", because I do know this isn't the answer they want to hear

They expect something different, something more specific

But the truth is that what I write is all about what I think & feel, in other words, all about my emotions

It feels pointless if I write only mere dried information, such as weather, where I went, what I ate, who I met etc.

These "external things" are important, but can easily be done by taking a photo on my phone

But things a camera lens can't internal things.....are what I need to write down

For me personally, there are many things to write down particularly after meeting other person/people

After having a conversation over coffee/drink, I always feel a quite strong impulse to write

He/she said something......., and I felt something with it...

He/she showed some behaviours, moves......., and I felt something with it...

This unpredictable reaction inside me is what I always find interesting in an interaction with others

"Unpredictability"......, probably this is what I'm looking for, what I desire the most, what I expect the most from communication with others

As much as I can't predict what other person says/does, it's also impossible to predict what comes out of myself...., this curiosity towards myself is a fundamental drive for communication

It feels kind of funny that "curiosity towards myself" or "interest in myself"...., this seemingly very self-centred, very narcissistic attitude is what makes a bridge between me & others

In order to find ourselves, we can't be alone. We do need others

So far I've used this term, "write", but I'm sure the same principle goes to other creative activities

Even taking a photo by phone

We take a photo of landscape, sky, flowers, dogs, kids or whatever

Firstly because, obviously apparently we want to show off on Instagram 😇

But more importantly, and more simply, we find "beauty" in it, and so we feel an impulse to take a photo

In other words, an interaction between us & the world produces "beauty"

By taking a photo, we want to capture and save this emotion, which is ephemeral & impossible to hold, and then we will be able to remember it whenever seeing the photo

Emotions, coming from an interaction between us & the world, must be the fundamental drive for any creative activities we do

And those who feel this impulse much more would become professionals, called

"artist", "creator"

or more accurately, "loser", "psychopath", "trash"

or more honourably "weirdo", "pervert", "Hentai"