by axxxm
She Looks Different From Photos
2/August/2023 in Kraków
The other day I met a woman from the online space
And I felt what I always feel
A gap between photos & real
Sometimes it's big
Sometimes it's small
Either way, the gap always exists
And one of the reasons behind must be the contrast between
this static, this freezed, this already-finished thing, called photos
&
this lively, this dynamic, hence, this shapeless, this unfixed, this unstable, this uncertain, this very unorganised & chaotic thing, called a living human being,
or called "reality"
―Photo
Entirely on my hand
Feels 100% under my control
Already-finished
Belongs to the past
Never threatens my existence
Never invades my reality
Totally safe
―Living human being, or reality
Entirely out of my hand
100% out of my control
Unfinished
Belongs to the present
Can threaten my existence
Can invade my reality
Totally unpredictable
The same goes to the relation between the dead & the alive
Always amazed how hard to love a person who is still alive
A living existence is
too warm
too raw
too fluid
too messy
too formless
too dazzling
too uncompleted
& too unpredictable
while the dead is
too quiet
too static
too peaceful
too polite
too nice
too completed
& too safe
The dead is so welcoming that they accept any kind of fantasies, romanticism & sentimentalism a living human being projects onto them
Why is it so hard to love a living human being?
Because they have an emotion
A white-hot burning emotion,
that rejects all kind of forms, orders, rationality & morality
Yet, that is exactly the source of his/her attraction
