Happiness is Tasteless 1

The below is something I wrote in the 1st of January this year

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In the New Year, what we shouldn't do the most is
probably reading an old diary

Some people said it's very embarrassing to read their old diaries

I usually don't have this problem

But this specific diary from my Amsterdam period talks entirely about episodes that my heart was completely crushed, destroyed and broken into pieces

No pain now
Just very embarrassing

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.....At the same time, very grateful

I felt such vivid, keen, acute emotions to the fullest

which means I was fully alive
which means I was living in a moment

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Very unhappy in my life
yet very fruitful in my diary

Unhappiness is so unpleasant when feeling it
yet so tasteful when looking back

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*This is based on my past writings below

Unhappy in my life, but Fruitful in my diary

Memory of 'Living in a moment'