How To End Beautifully

11/November/2023 in Belgrade

Past couple of years
I was writing memoirs

Basically, writing about my past & my memories

Probably because of this,
I now see things like this more often than before;

"In the future, how will I remember this event that I'm experiencing right now?"

In other words,
I pay more attention to a relation between reality in front me now & memories I will get as a result in the future

Apparently I prefer pleasing memories, positive memories, happy memories rather than negative ones

And for this, "an end" is the crucial part

End of texts,
End of books,
End of films,
End of travel,
End of a meeting.....

.......These last parts of the things always have a big influence on one's long-term memory

Naturally I tend to think how to make the last part of the things.......of my work, of my day, of my stay in a foreign country, of a positive, as painless, as beautiful as possible

"..............I can stay for a bit longer, but if I do, I will probably get to dislike it. So, before a 'negative' feeling occurs.......when I still feel somewhat positive about it.......when I still like it.......I should leave, I should close, I should end it now........"

Perhaps this is "wisdom" that my life experiences gave me
Perhaps this is "maturity" that getting older brought me
Perhaps this is "adulthood" that I'm willing to accept


Perhaps this is just being more cunning & coward
Perhaps this is just giving up being innocent & beautiful
Perhaps this is just an avoidance of reality in front of my eyes now