Is sex must to make someone unforgettable?

8/June/2023 in Tokyo

*Japanese ver

3rd book about my Amsterdam period has been stuck

Writing part was done & a draft was made a long ago, but this final & most important part of editing/polishing lines is going extremely slowly

It's all due to my low motivation

While reading the draft, I noticed I didn't write about this girl at all

A 21-year-old girl from somewhere in Europe

I still remember her name, her face, her clothes, her English accent

I still remember
when & where I saw her for the first time
where I firstly talked to her
one of her first words to me
bars we went together
messages we exchanged

We were not a couple but having a physical relationship

Sex always involves emotions

Sex can't be kept to only physical domain

It always invades a territory of emotions

Sometimes a little
Sometimes a lot
even if we wish not

I was not emotionally involved in her, but just us having sex, this fact itself undeniably proves I made some amount of emotional investment

But I wrote nothing about her

In this book, I wrote several women

For instance, a woman from Syria. She was my colleague

I wrote several lines about a scene where one day she'd arrived in the office

It was a sunny day in April in 2016 & it was the day I "discovered" a new beauty

Thick black hair, tanned skin, colourful eyes.....

It was the moment I discovered a beauty of a woman from Arabia

In my sense, this word "exotic" is suitable only for women with black hair

If it's other colour, somehow it doesn't feel exotic enough in my perception

In any case, with this Arabian woman, I didn't have any close contact. She was just one of many colleagues in the office

I wrote several lines about such a colleague rather passionately,
but wrote nothing about a woman I was sleeping with

That's strange

Obviously the reason is not because
there's something I don't want to remember
or, I don't want to make my intimate relationship story public

Probably the reason is,

......whether I want to write or not is......

depends on how much emotional impact this person/this event brought to me

If an emotional wave was big enough, probably I'd like to write about

In this way, holding hands or
spending a long time together or
getting married or
having sex or
traveling to another country or
passing an exam or.......

all these things, that belong to an external, physical, objective, measurable, touchable domain, don't remain in our memory, unless it brings an intense emotion

In other words,
We can remember it "as an information"
But we can't remember it as something fresh, something raw

From this standpoint, I can still remember a physical relationship with that girl

But it didn't really jolt my emotions on the whole

Probably that's why I didn't feel like writing about her

On the contrary, one momentarily encounter with an Arabian beauty was far more emotionally rich

And so, still remains in me far more unforgettably than her & sex