We Learn Emotions

10/December/2023 in Tokyo

A few years ago,
some woman said to me;

"A woman knows how to love from her birth. So, she can love her child naturally"

"On the other hand, a man 'learns' how to love, by using his memory/experience of being loved by his parents"


Probably her view would contain some amount of bias

At the same time, this part must be true;

"We learn emotions"
"The way of feeling is a learned ability"


Usually we think;

"How we think" is something we can learn

Hence, we can change the way of thinking

On the other hand, "How we feel" is something innate

It is something we get before we're born

Hence. we can't change the way of feeling
Or, nearly impossible to change it

But the truth of the matter is,
we learn emotions

It means,
"How we feel" is largely influenced by one's environment & experiences


They say Japanese people appreciate Sakura's falling rather than Sakura's blooming on the tree

Perhaps, this Japanese sense would look unique to a foreign person

But it doesn't mean Japanese people are naturally/inherently so special or so unique

It just means environments in Japan are different from this foreign person's one


"Appreciation for ephemerality"

is one of the most typical, most wide-spread, most over-used, hence most mundane senses that you can find everywhere in Japanese arts, or even in their daily life

And in my writings, I often express my liking & appreciation towards ephemerality

But I sometimes wonder
if it really makes sense to a non-Japanese person

I am guessing,
probably they can "understand" it in a rational, logical way

But can they really "sense" it, "feel" it, "experience" it, as much as I do, or as much as people who share the same things with me, called Japanese people ........?

And I sometimes wonder
if it has any meaning to write about things I feel in someone's language, which is "English"

If emotions are a learnt ability, not an inborn ability,
then it's likely that there are many emotions & senses that we can't share with others with different backgrounds.........different environmental, historical, cultural backgrounds