Ugly Suicide

Yesterday
I was reading a newspaper & saw an article 

About a Japanese musician who died in 2009

I didn't know him
I never heard of his name
I know nothing about him

---

One line caught my attention 

"..........He killed himself at the age of 62"

Before seeing this line,
I was curious who this musician was
& wanted to google his name

But once I saw this line,
completely lost an interest,
and close the newspaper

I felt disgusted

---

Artist?
Suicide?
62 years old?

What a ridiculous
What a miserable
What a nasty suicide this was!

This is despicable
This is unbearable
This is just laughable 

What a shameless artist he was!
He killed himself at the age of 62!
What an ugly death it was!

---

The article briefly mentioned the reasons for his suicide

Like loneliness
Like old age
Like growing anxiety with his talent
Like health
Like worries about the rest of his life, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah........

..........all these mundanities

All these self-centered, ugly, absurd mundanities

He should have suffered from these mundane problems
and should have lived until he died naturally 

No matter how painful it would be
No matter how lonely it would be
This is what every other "normal humans" do

---

He made a mistake

He, as an artist, thought he could still commit suicide at the age of 62 and actually he did

This was his mistake

If he wanted to commit suicide,
then he had to have done when he was much much younger

But he didn't

He missed an opportunity to commit suicide when he was young

Then, he should have..........must have..........lived until he died,
no matter how miserably, painful, sad it would be

Suicide of a 62-year-old artist is mere ugly

Too late to commit suicide beautifully