by axxxm
Keeping Beauty or Destroying Beauty
24/January/2023 in Kyoto
Yesterday morning
In a cafe
Chatting with someone sitting next to me
Japanese uni student, 21 y.o., majored architectural designs, lived in Kyoto for 3 years, broke up with her boyfriend 2 months ago.....
During communication with a stranger
especially towards the end of it
always one question appears
"How to ask her contact?"
Shouldn't be abrupt
Should be as natural as possible
Our chat continued for 30 min
For her, and for me, no longer felt like we were total strangers
Up until this point, asking her contact was not a big deal anymore
Her rejection was out of sight
.....but sometimes, another, rather obscure, my personal concern comes up
which is, destroying beauty
If we don't exchange contact details & keep this meeting as an one-off thing, this memory could remain beautiful
Memory of her won't be ruined by so-called "reality", or "the truth"
What I know is only what she showed during this 30 min interaction
She showed only what she wanted to show to me
Most probably, it was, she thought, best aspects of her
And I don't have any obligations to fully know her
I don't want to know what she sees, eats, tries, thinks, or emotional struggling, from her social media
The same goes to her
She doesn't have to know me more than what I showed her during this 30 min
If it's an one-off & ephemeral event, memory about this person remains flawless, and it gives us a vast space where we can idealise this person with any kind of sugary illusions & dreams, without interfered by "reality"
We always fail to control our curiosity of knowing others
And we get to know things that we don't need to know
Getting to know others means destroying something precious
Approaching "the truth" means relinquishing/giving up its beauty
The more we get to know others, the more we have to face something unbearable, something unacceptable, something unforgivable
.....Should I choose the way to keep this moment with her as beautiful, as eternal as possible?
Or, should I choose the way to face reality and destroying this ephemeral beauty that only I can appreciate & indulge.....?
.....I noticed she turned her head to me
".....I'm thinking to go to that bar I told you earlier. Very cozy place! We can go.....if you have time tonight"
