How to Deal with Breakup

21/September/2023 in Krakow

The other day
I met this young Polish uni student boy

Recently he experienced breakup

His ex-girlfriend initiated it
His heart was broken into pieces
And he didn't know what to do

While hearing his story, I was remembering some of my breakups from the past

It was always tough

Even if we both agreed to break up,
still an enormous amount of sadness & pain occurred

How did I deal with it?

"Time" was the easiest, most acceptable & most effective cure for sadness & pain for sure

But also, I tried to remember something

Something that existed in my life longer than an ex

Something I liked for a very long time, for much longer than the period I was with an ex & still existing in my life

.........I met this friend much before an ex & we're still friend

.........I got to know Mishima much before an ex & I still read his books

.........And I had been liking this Japanese singer much before an ex, for 20 years this year.
I still listen to him & I still like him

I was listening to his songs, after breakup, as always

At that time, +15 years had already passed since I firstly listened to his songs

Each songs brought me memories from my past

His song A was related to my high school period
His song B brought me a memory of my life in London
His song C was the first song I had listened from him, that was August in 2003

........My connection with these songs, my emotional attachment with him as a singer, had far far longer history than an ex

He existed in my life far longer than an ex

Nobody could steal my memories with him
Nobody could understand how much I was touched by his songs & how many times I was saved by him
And nobody could interrupt my admiration & appreciation towards him

I lost a woman I cared so much

It was sad
It was extremely sad

But at least, my connection with him who exited in my life since 2003 would still certainly remain

.............Then, thinking like this removed all of my pain & sadness from breakup?

Apparently no

Not at all

I was still deeply sad & in pain

If pain & sadness can disappear by thinking like this,
then human life is not worth living

But momentarily.........,
I was surely relieved & felt ease for a moment by thinking like that

This book,
This writer,
This song,
This singer........

They were always next to me
They are always next to me
And they will be always next to me
No matter what will happen

Who can interfere this precious feeling of mine?
Who can ruin my emotion of liking them, of admiring them?
Who can steal my deep appreciation for them?


They already reached "an eternity" in me

My un-invadable memory with them

My memory
Only I have
Nobody can invade

..........I was speaking to a young heartbroken Polish boy in front of me in a bar

He looked half convinced, yet very confused

Surely it would be hard to make sense,
if you don't have the same experience that you like someone or something.......hobby, profession, passion.......for an extended period of time,
and make them a part of your life,
a part of your identity,
a part of yourself

And it feels this is something nobody can ever steal from you