DNA Level Bonding

*Japanese ver

In 2017 summer, Warsaw

I met this Polish woman

I talked to her in a cafe
And then we spent some time together afterward

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In a car
she told me she'd lived in Iceland for a while, and said

"We become critical with our own country once we go abroad"

I did agree & I still do agree with her

But I've been thinking
my "criticism" with my country & its people has been somewhat more than usual

Somewhat more complicating
Somewhat more excessive than normal

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Over the past 10 years I've been having quite complicating, distorted opinions about my country & its people

But I've never wished to be other nationals

I never wish to be, let's say, American or Polish or Dutch or British or anything

Even if I find extremely hard to love people here in Japan, I've never wished not to be one of them

The thing that always prevents me from slipping out of "being Japanese" is probably

so-called "culture"
so-called "Japanese culture"

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Looking back, all artists I deeply fell in love with were all Japanese

I liked/like some art works from foreign countries, but I never ever had that strong attachment with any of them

I've never loved these art works as much as the ones by Japanese writers or musicians, or simply Japanese artists

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For a long time I've been wondering what this feeling is

Feeling that occurs when I come across any type of Japanese arts, such as paintings, old temples, shrines, writings, music

This familiarity
This unconditional familiarity

It gets into me
It gets into the very bottom of me so quickly
& mixing with me so naturally
& assimilating into me so calmly

This undeniable feeling that this artwork & I are from the same place

We are from the exact same origin
We share the exact same root

This DNA level conviction
This DNA level relationship
This DNA level bonding

This absolute sense of connection between me & art works from Japanese artists must be what prevents me from slipping out of Japan & everything related to it