'Thinking' means 'Looking for words'

*Japanese ver

"I am thinking" means "I am looking for words"

And this is the disadvantage when I write in English

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"Writing in Japanese" or "Writing in English"

This is the question I often bump into

Something appears in me
Something I want to write about

Then, which language to use for this?

Sometimes I have no choice. The subject dictates the language

Sometimes I take time to decide. It depends on how important the subject is for me in the long run

Sometimes I can't really decide. Just start writing

"can't really decide"
Because each language has pros & cons

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1 ― An apparent & significant advantage in EN is, I can share with a vast number of people

2 ― In JP, I'm comfortable with writing a relatively long sentence that still sounds natural & smooth, while in EN I tend to avoid one long sentence, and divide into multiple shorter sentences

3 ― In EN, it feels like my imagination reaches its limit much quicker & earlier

So my writing in EN would look somewhat dried, less lively, less "juicy" than JP

This leads to the next point

4 ― The other day I noticed I often looked up synonyms when writing in EN, while in JP I hardly did

"Synonym" is a word that has the same/similar meaning

Looking for synonyms is like a horizontal way of search

Moving my eyes to left/to right horizontally
I can only find words on the same horizontal line

However, what I actually want is not necessarily a word that has similar/same meaning

but a word, expression, sentence, multiple sentences, or even an implication that can express what I want to express

They usually don't exist on the same horizontal line, but somewhere in the space

To find, to access, to catch them, my eyes have to move throughout the space, horizontally, vertically, from back to front......as free as a bird

Let's say, in JP I can use "3 dimensional(3D) approach" that allows me to move every direction possible, but in EN only "1 dimensional approach" that allows me only a horizontal move, if this makes any sense

And this actually poses a serious disadvantage

We think in words

Words are a necessary tool for our thinking & imaginations

Try to find different words means
Ty to think differently
Try to see things differently

Can't fully make use of it in English
Probably that's why it feels like "my imagination reaches its limit much quicker & earlier"